Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what coule be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

#year #crime #rate #increases #coule #rise #activity

The number of criminal cases is increasing every year because

people

are jobless and have mental

health

problems

. These are the main causes and I am going to discuss some solutions in the following paragraphs. The main reason is that

people

without jobs are dramatically increased in recent years.

Thus

, they are difficult to live to cover all of their expenses.

As a result

, they are finding ways how to get the money easily so they commit a

crime

such

as robbing a bank or theft. To illustrate, robbing a bank and theft are very popular in countries, and these types of crimes are expanding year by year. Another reason is that some folks have depression and mental

health

problems

. Due to the stress of their work,

people

suffer depression as a consequence they made a mistake in the community. Those

people

who have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mental

health

problem

health

problems

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

make violent crimes when they are bored with life or they are unhappy. There are some solutions to tackle

this

criminal activity.

Firstly

, the government should create job opportunities for their citizens and provide homes or money for jobless

people

Secondly

, with regard to the individuals, we should learn martial arts to defend ourselves in case we encounter a problem in our surroundings.

In addition

, when someone sees a

crime

, they should report it directly to the polices or they should help each other. In conclusion, because of

health

problems

and jobless

people

create

crime

in the community.

However

, we should learn how to protect ourselves when we face a dangerous situation. In fact, we should help each other when someone commits a

crime

this

way we can reduce criminal activity.

Submitted by eiphyo2021 on Thu Jun 09 2022

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what coule be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

Your opinion

More and more people are moving away from agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for work. What will be the consequence of this? What solutions can you offer?

Some people say that governments should spend more money taking care elderly people while others think that government spending should be spent on the education of young people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to success in their career, while others argue that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views.

Many things that used to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines. Does this development bring more advantages or disadvantages.

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?