Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what coule be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

#year #crime #rate #increases #coule #rise #activity

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The number of criminal cases is increasing every year because

people

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are jobless and have mental

health

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problems

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. These are the main causes and I am going to discuss some solutions in the following paragraphs. The main reason is that

people

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without jobs are dramatically increased in recent years.

Thus

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, they are difficult to live to cover all of their expenses.

As a result

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, they are finding ways how to get the money easily so they commit a

crime

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such

Linking Words

as robbing a bank or theft. To illustrate, robbing a bank and theft are very popular in countries, and these types of crimes are expanding year by year. Another reason is that some folks have depression and mental

health

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problems

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. Due to the stress of their work,

people

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suffer depression as a consequence they made a mistake in the community. Those

people

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who have

Correct article usage

apply

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mental

health

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problem

health

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problems

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Remove the comma

apply

show examples

make violent crimes when they are bored with life or they are unhappy. There are some solutions to tackle

this

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criminal activity.

Firstly

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, the government should create job opportunities for their citizens and provide homes or money for jobless

people

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Secondly

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, with regard to the individuals, we should learn martial arts to defend ourselves in case we encounter a problem in our surroundings.

In addition

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, when someone sees a

crime

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, they should report it directly to the polices or they should help each other. In conclusion, because of

health

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problems

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and jobless

people

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create

crime

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in the community.

However

Linking Words

, we should learn how to protect ourselves when we face a dangerous situation. In fact, we should help each other when someone commits a

crime

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this

Linking Words

way we can reduce criminal activity.

Submitted by eiphyo2021 on Thu Jun 09 2022

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Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what coule be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

Your opinion

Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, many people suffer from health problems due to eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree?

International travel is cheaper and more convenient than ever. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

The threat of nuclear weapons maintains the world peace. The benefits of nuclear technology far out-weight the disadvantages.