IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?

#children #difference #right #age #punishment #distinction #sort #parents #teachers #behavior
There is a controversial discussion about whether
parents
 should educate their offspring on the difference between
right
 and wrong by punishment. Some people argue that it is more efficient to use
this
way
 to teach
children
, while some people think that it may have a negative impression on them and even result in rebellious behaviour. I firmly believe that punishment is not the best
way
 to educate.
This
 essay will contain my reason and a better solution to
this
 situation.
Firstly
, severe physical sanctions may cause a bad relationship between
parents
 and their
children
. Some adults always like to use the
way
 of verbally abusing and spanking to educate their offspring which makes them start to have some negative impression of their
parents
. In order to show their anger, some
children
 would have bad behaviour
such
 as smoking and skipping class to against their
parents
.
Secondly
, scientific research shows that physical abuse would have a negative impact on their mentality and the brain architecture which leads to mental illnesses
such
 as depression and anxiety.
Although
 it is an efficient
way
 to let the youngest know clearly whether is
right
 or not, it is definitely not the best method.
Instead
 of using a brutal
way
 to punish them, it is better for
parents
 and teachers to peacefully and patiently discuss with
children
. In
this
 case, it can not only help
children
 to build a harmonious relationship with the elderly but have sound mental health. To conclude, it is of the foremost importance that adults use the
right
way
 to educate
children
 in the early period. In
this
 case, before using physical punishment, people should try to have a conversation with the
children
 to gradually lead to the
right
 perspective.
Submitted by peggyw108dm on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Moral development
  • Positive reinforcement
  • Negative reinforcement
  • Behavioral psychology
  • Disciplinary methods
  • Corporal punishment
  • Psychological effects
  • Authoritative parenting
  • Permissive parenting
  • Behavioural correction
  • Ethical considerations
  • Legal frameworks
  • Cognitive development
  • Social norms
  • Character building
  • Restorative practices
  • Authoritarian approach
  • Constructive criticism
  • Pro-social behavior
  • Conditioning
What to do next:
Look at other essays: