It is more important for school children to learn about their local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#school #children #history #world

Nowadays, more and more experts advocate that studying their traditional

history

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

school

outweighs learning

the

Correct article usage

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show examples

history

worldwide.

Although

globalization leads foreign culture study to be prevalent, I agree that pupils should learn about their ancestors’ stories rather than foreigners'

ones

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apply

show examples

. Learning local

history

can improve descendants’ sense of identity. Through studying their histories and heritages,

school

students can not only understand

how

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their local culture and increase their self-confidence.

For instance

, they

also

can exchange their national

history

for foreigners’ traditions if they know their

history

in advance.

Thus

, learning local

history

can provide an opportunity to allow pupils to know themselves well with self-esteem and make friends.

In addition

, the historical and conventional heritage and artefacts could be preserved from one generation to another if young kids were taught at

school

. Because the young generation will understand the values of their own

history

, they can treat what they have and where they live in the proper way to protect the ancient traditions.

For example

, some special habits and local religions’ traditions should be preserved because people keep the ancient

commodity

Fix the agreement mistake

commodities

show examples

and ceremonies complying with the

history

Therefore

, comprehending local

history

is essential to tradition and culture preservation. In conclusion, even if it is a trend to learn multiple national histories, understanding local

history

can improve

school

children's confidence in national identity and prevent the damage of the ancient heritages

as well as

tradition.

Consequently

, I think studying local

history

as a curriculum is far more important than a global one.

Submitted by Vic. on Thu Jun 09 2022

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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