Some childeren spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negatif development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
modern era,
smartphones
Use synonyms
have become a necessity to assist our daily tasks. A number of parents allow their offspring to have
smartphones
Use synonyms
to keep them occupied. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will illuminate why the positive effect of
this
Linking Words
situation surpassed the negative effect on children, drawing on relevant examples. In some cases, parents who both work to achieve ends meet tend to neglect their minors and leave them with nannies who can't provide them with parental supervision, and grooming.
For example
Linking Words
, when a boy watches
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
TV, he might absorb some misleading information or even harmful scenes like combat movies.
This
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
leads to rebellious acts like bullying in the student environment.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
situation could be addressed by parental supervision and controlled habits in children. On the other side, having a smartphone could enhance kids' academic scores by providing access to valuable resources and information.
For example
Linking Words
, if a student is puzzled about his math questions, he could simply search for how to solve them by simply watching videos on YouTube or discussing it on social media with his friends.
Therefore
Linking Words
, students could boost their scores at school and obtain their desired achievements in order to pursue their future goals.
To sum up
Linking Words
, it is crystal clear that children who have
smartphones
Use synonyms
might experience the negative effects of having a smartphone if not accompanied by parental supervision.
However
Linking Words
, the positive effects of
smartphones
Use synonyms
outweigh the negative effects in the case of academic enrichment to support the young generations to achieve their dreams.
Submitted by Practicexoxo on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Make sure to directly address the question by stating your opinion clearly in the introduction and conclusion. While you've discussed positive and negative aspects, making your stance clearer from the start could enhance task achievement.
Coherence & Cohesion
Aim for more varied sentence structures and transitions between ideas to enhance readability and flow. This would help in boosting coherence.
General
Consider proofreading to correct minor inaccuracies, such as awkward phrasings or typographical errors, to improve the overall quality of your writing.
Task Achievement
Effective use of examples to support arguments, which helps to illustrate your points clearly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Good job in structuring the essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Accessibility
  • Affability
  • Platform
  • Engagement
  • Stream
  • Occupied
  • Educational content
  • Assistance
  • Convenience
  • Hinder
  • Social skills
  • Obesity
  • Sleep disorders
  • Academic performance
  • Responsibly
  • Valuable
  • Connectivity
  • Maintain
  • Peers
  • Social distancing
  • Constraints
What to do next:
Look at other essays: