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Writing Samples
Band 6

These days, many children spend their free time playing computer games. What are the problems and solutions to this issue?

In today’s world, a growing number of
children
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 spend most of their leisure
time
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 engaged in computer games.
As a result
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,
this
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 excessive use often leads to health-related problems and weakens their social skills.
Nevertheless
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, there are practical steps that can be taken to address
this
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 issue. One major concern associated with computer game addiction is the negative impact on physical health.
Children
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 who spend long hours in front of screens tend to live a sedentary lifestyle, which can result in weight gain and related illnesses.
For instance
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, in countries,
such
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 as the USA, childhood obesity is on the rise
due to
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 a lack of physical activity and constant screen exposure.
Hence
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, over
time
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,
this
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 can increase the risk of serious
conditionsm
Correct your spelling
conditions
,
na
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apply
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,ely diabetes and heart disease. Another problem is that
children
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 who are overly dependent on gaming may have poor communication abilities. Since they are mostly isolated, they miss out on real-life social interactions, which are essential for developing interpersonal skills and emotional intelligence. To tackle
this
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 problem, parents can adopt a few effective strategies.
Firstly
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, they should motivate their
children
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 to take part in outdoor recreation.
For example
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, bringing
children
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 to the park or encouraging them to join sports clubs can help them stay active and reduce their dependence on digital entertainment.
Secondly
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, setting clear boundaries on screen
time
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 is essential. Parents should create a balanced routine that includes
time
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 for hobbies, socialising, and rest. Encouraging group activities with peers, like team games or creative workshops, can
also
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 enhance communication skills and reduce their reliance on gaming as the only form of entertainment. In conclusion,
,
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apply
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by promoting outdoor activities and limiting screen
time
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, parents can help
children
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 develop healthier habits. If these solutions are implemented consistently, the issue of computer game addiction among
children
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 can be greatly reduced.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly explain all ideas and support them with specific examples.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the structure of your paragraphs, ensuring each idea flows logically into the next.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid using unclear phrases or spelling mistakes to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Your essay addresses a relevant issue and identifies both problems and solutions.
coherence and cohesion
The ideas presented are logical and relate to the topic.
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