IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

‘Failure is proof that desire wasn’t strong enough’ To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Often
people
Use synonyms
 want to achieve a lot of success in
this
Linking Words
 life , but they may face
failures
Use synonyms
. And the problem might be in the person or it might be
a bad luck
Remove the article
bad luck
a bit of bad luck
a stroke of bad luck
a piece of bad luck
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, most
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the problem is just a setback. There are two types of
people
Use synonyms
 who face
failure
Use synonyms
. The
first
Linking Words
 one is common , who can’t admit their
failure
Use synonyms
. And another
type
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 those who can learn from their mistakes and
failures
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 from the
first
Linking Words
type
Use synonyms
 will always blame others for their
failures
Use synonyms
. They can’t learn a lesson from
Add an article
the mistake
a mistake
show examples
mistake
Fix the agreement mistake
mistakes
show examples
. If we are talking about the
second
Linking Words
type
Use synonyms
,
unfortunately
Add the comma(s)
,unfortunately
show examples
this
Linking Words
type
Use synonyms
 is very rare.
This
Linking Words
type
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
 always
gain
Change the verb form
gains
show examples
 experience from their
failures
Use synonyms
 and successes. If they failed , they will analyze what they did wrong. And they will not blame other
people
Use synonyms
 , only themselves.
This
Linking Words
type
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a lot of chances to become
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
successful. If suddenly you got failed , you should understand that you did something wrong.
For instance
Linking Words
, you failed your school exams and you got a bad score.
Instead
Linking Words
 of thinking that you got a bad score because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
maybe the teacher doesn’t like you , you should analyze why you got a poor score and prepare better
next
Linking Words
 time. I include myself in the
second
Linking Words
type
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
. To be honest, sometimes I can’t just admit my
failure
Use synonyms
. I think that’s
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
normal human
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. Because we always try to protect ourselves.
In anyway
Change preposition
Anyway
show examples
 after some time I can take my
failure
Use synonyms
. But I’ll always try to be better.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: