IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Today, TV channels broadcast men’s sports shows more than women’s sport shows. Why is this the case? Should TV channels give equal showtime for each?

#tv #channels #broadcast #men’s #sports #women’s #sport #case #showtime
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Sports
Use synonyms
 competitions played by men are more televised than ones played by
women
Use synonyms
. The paragraphs below will outline why cultural sexism and financial investments are influencing
this
Linking Words
 scenario;
additionally
Linking Words
, affirming that the showtime of both gender games should be similar to incentivize
female's
Fix the agreement mistake
females'
show examples
 presence in all sectors and to show younger
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
 they are capable.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a myriad of reasons to justify why male
sports
Use synonyms
 have more space
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 television than female ones. At
first
Linking Words
, historically,
women
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's role in society
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 to take care of their family. The games they were allowed to play often involved dolls and any physical contact was discouraged, as it was considered manly.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 sexist structure has
perpetuated
Add a missing verb
been perpetuated
show examples
 and is still seen in different moments, including
sports
Use synonyms
, as many individuals believe that watching these matches
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 not worth it, arguing that
women
Use synonyms
 cannot play.
Secondly
Linking Words
, owing to a huge financial investment in men's
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
 determined by a significant audience, TV channels prefer to broadcast them
instead
Linking Words
 of
women
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's, as the latter is, comparatively, less profitable. Despite
this
Linking Words
 scenario, the television network should invest more in female games, in order to equalize their screen time. The main motive is to simply incentivize gender equality. Many
fenomenal
Correct your spelling
phenomenal
 female athletes are not being valued or highlighted exclusively for lack of opportunity.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, another cogent reason is
because
Replace the word
that
show examples
 it gives the
change
Correct your spelling
chance
show examples
 for young girls to identify and feel capable of trying.
For instance
Linking Words
, in the Olympics of 2020, the Brazilian professional skateboarder Rayssa Leal
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
encouraged thousands of teenage girls to try skateboarding. To conclude, due to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
historical background and lack of investment,
women
Use synonyms
's
sports
Use synonyms
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 presence
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 television
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 limited.
However
Linking Words
, as a way to combat gender bias and to
awake
Replace the word
awaken
show examples
 love for
sports
Use synonyms
 in other youngsters, TV channels should provide these shows more time.
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