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Band 5.5

Environmental problems such as pollution and climatic variations are increasing nowadays. The governments have taken some measures at a global level. But they got only few solutions. Why is it so? How can this be solved?

#pollution #variations #governments #measures #level #be
These days, a scientist and experts are concerned about environmental problems
such
 as air pollution and climate change because of human behaviours. These are the main effects of causing natural disasters and I am going to discuss some solutions in the following paragraphs. There are myriad reasons behind
such
 a scenario.
Firstly
, factories and vehicles emit a large number of toxic gases into the air
as a result
 these cause global warming.
Due to
 the emission of greenhouse gases, the world is becoming warmer which can lead to the extinction of animal species.
For instance
, many people suffer health issues like asthma and heart
attack
Fix the agreement mistake
attacks
show examples
 around the globe every year.
Moreover
, people do not dispose properly of the wastes from factories and
then
 these wastes take a long time to decay.
Consequently
, these are seriously influenced by the weather situation
such
 as floods and volcano eruptions. To illustrate, a tsunami is one of the most devastating phenomena that killed around 230,000 people in Japan. On
contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
show examples
, it should be responsible for both individual and government actions.
Firstly
, the government should be fined these companies that did not follow the laws and did not throw away their
wastage
Replace the word
waste
show examples
 properly.
Secondly
, the authority should encourage their citizen to plant more trees because trees absorb carbon dioxide and clean the surrounding air that we exhale. Individuals should stop using plastic products rather they should use recycled materials. In summary, a lot of meteorological cases are caused by mankind's actions. Despite the fact that it should be important to prevent these actions in time if not our planet will be disappeared within a few decades.
Submitted by eiphyo2021 on

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Task Response
Task Response: The essay partially addresses the topic but lacks focus on the reasons why the governments have only found few solutions to environmental problems. The essay should provide a more thorough analysis of this aspect.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: While the essay exhibits a clear structure, there are minor issues with the introduction and conclusion. The supported main points are adequately presented, but the use of examples could be improved to enhance overall coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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