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Band 4

Question: Many government thinks that economic progress is their most important goals, some people however thinks that other progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both view and give your opinion

#government #progress #goals #people #country
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of political unit leaders have more interest in financial growth,
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
 some
individuals
belief
Replace the word
believe
show examples
 that
education
 and
health
services
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
 an important role in a
nation
.In My view,I think public
services
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 of paramount significance in a geographical region. Let's begin with financial growth,a
nation
 with limited finance suffers greatly but with sufficient money, poverty is reduced
this
 is because everyone finds it easier to maintain
standard
Add an article
the standard
a standard
show examples
 of living and
also
 afford their basic needs.Take
for example
,in
western
Correct article usage
the western
show examples
 world average
individuals
Fix the agreement mistake
individual
show examples
 have a comfortable home and can afford three square
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
.
As a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 poverty is on the low side.
furthermore
, employment is assured
this
 is because
with
Add the comma(s)
,with
show examples
 financial growth,
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
show examples
 Will
be
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 able to build more industries thereby eliminating
Change the article
a
the
show examples
number of unemployed
individuals
 .
In addition
 tax revenue is increased due to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in
output
Correct article usage
the output
show examples
 of industries and other public
services
.
However
, other areas
such
 as public
services
,
Health
 and
Education
 should not be neglected in a geographical region.Good
health
 promotes
standard
Add an article
a standard
the standard
show examples
 of living, increases life expectancy and
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
Correct your spelling
output
show examples
out put
Correct your spelling
output
show examples
 at
Add an article
the work
show examples
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
 which in turn increases tax revenue.
Education
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the other hand
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
is of paramount significance as it
enable
Change the verb form
enables
show examples
individuals
 to have
greater
Add an article
a greater
show examples
 understanding of civic rules and political issues and as well
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of literate in a
nation
. To sum it up,
although
 it is a common thought that financial progress is very necessary, political leaders should as well consider other sectors
such
 as
health
 and
education
.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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