IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, the government likes to spend more money on the arts. Some people agree with this. However, others think government should spend more on health and education. Discuss both sides and giver your opinion.

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Nowadays,
arts
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,
health
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 and
education
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 are the most paramount factors for the overall growth of a nation financially and socially. Some
people
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 advocate that spending more earnings on
arts
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 is more beneficial as it protects the native
people
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's culture and customs.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 think that the government should pay more for
health
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 and
education
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, as these are primary factors for the development. I believe that spending on
health
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 and
education
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 is more beneficial because it can improve the financial condition of a nation. On one side of the argument, there are numerous
people
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 who preferred to spend more money on the
arts
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.There are many reasons behind
this
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.
Firstly
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, they think that
this
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 is the best approach to preserve native
people
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's culture and customs
,
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apply
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 because due to the detrimental
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effect
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affect
Correct your spelling
effect
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 of modernisation,
local
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the local
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 population is moving forward and do not care much about their inherited traditions.
Moreover
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, if the ministry
construct
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constructs
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 more museums and promote handmade ornaments,
this
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 will
definately
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definitely
 encourage local authorities to promote their
amcient
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ancient
 and antique
arts
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. As a
resul
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result
,
people
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 can earn more money and become financially independent.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 believe that the legal authorities should invest
on
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in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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health
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 and
education
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 as these are prompt factors for
overall
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the overall
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 growth of a country.
For example
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, the developed countries
giving
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give
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 free
education
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 and free healthcare services which
encourges
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encourages
 new generations to gain more
education
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 and promote their nation
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worldwide
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world wide
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worldwide
show examples
. In conclusion, despite
of
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apply
show examples
the above arguments, I think that the legitimate agencies should invest more dollars
on
Change preposition
in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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health
Use synonyms
 and
education
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, as these are the roots
for
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of
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 the overall growth of a country
,
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apply
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 because educated and healthy
people
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 are the symbol of
healthy
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a healthy
the healthy
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 and developed country.
Therefore
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, the government should invest more
on
Change preposition
in
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this
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 as it has more monetary
values
Fix the agreement mistake
value
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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