IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Write a letter to the building manager. In your letter, explain the reason for using a bicycle to commute mention what problems you have encountered with parking what you recommend to solve the problems

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Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to let you know about the problem that our occurring on a daily basis. Being a health-conscious person, I prefer to use a
bicycle
Use synonyms
 as part of the exercise.
This
Linking Words
 is helping me to stay fit and healthy.
Moreover
Linking Words
, my job timing is 9am to 5pm, which is the busiest time of the day. Rather than getting into traffic congestion, the
bicycle
Use synonyms
 is the best and most convenient way to reach my workplace on time.
From
Change preposition
In
show examples
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 few days, parking for
Use synonyms
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
 has become a major issue in the building. There is very
less
Correct word choice
little
show examples
 space for
bicycle
Use synonyms
 parking as compared to other vehicles. One incident happened
last
Linking Words
 month, person left his
bicycle
Use synonyms
 outside the building
due to
Linking Words
 unavailability to park at that moment. Unfortunately, somebody stole it. There should be arrangements for more space for parking.
This
Linking Words
 effort requires a
big
Correct word choice
large
show examples
 amount of funds. All the residents are willing to contribute some money to tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem as soon as possible.
Otherwise
Linking Words
,
bicycle
Use synonyms
 riders have to reside in other locations to protect their vehicle and to use them without any obstacles. Yours faithfully, Raman

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coherence cohesion
For greater coherence, consider reorganizing your sentences and paragraphs to ensure a smoother flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Be sure to state your main point clearly at the beginning of each paragraph to maintain focus.
task achievement
Elaborate slightly more on the recommendations to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The letter is clear and presents a proper greeting and closing.
task achievement
The tone is appropriately formal and respectful for reaching out to a building manager.
task achievement
You successfully address the problems and provide a logical explanation for the need for bicycle parking space.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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