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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries, people follow the latest fashion and hair styles. In your opinion what is influencing this? Is this a good or bad thing.

#countries #people #fashion #hair #styles
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In some parts of the world, copying the latest fashion and hairstyles has become quite common among the masses. In my opinion,
this
 is happening because the general public attempt to imitate their favourite movies or sports stars. I believe that
this
 is a negative development because
people
 often spend their hard-earned money
to
Change preposition
apply
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just
copy
Wrong verb form
copying
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 their
ideals
Correct your spelling
ideas
show examples
.
This
 essay will intend to analyze both aspects in detail with relevant examples. The fundamental reason why the populace follows the latest lifestyle is to imitate their television or sports celebrities.
For example
, when they observe their ideal in a new costume and hairstyle, they get impressed and commence adopting the same lifestyle.
However
, if the local public could not copy their role model
then
 they often feel tense and depressed. The latest survey by "The Times of India reveals that 30% of
people
 in India imitate the lifestyle of their role model. I firmly believe that
this
 is a negative transformation due to the fact that inhabitants often lose their daily earned wage to follow the fashion of their idle.
As a result
,
people
 often face family disputes or even separation of family members.
For instance
, a recent survey by "Oxford University" propose that 40% of family disputes happen due to the investment of huge money in fashionable items by family members.
Therefore
, the masses should follow their role model with the sacrifice of their funds. In conclusion, imitating the newest fashion and hairstyle has become a common trend among city dwellers. In my perception,
this
 is happening because the local
people
 attempt to copy their favourite movies or sports stars. I believe that
this
 is a negative development because
people
 often spend their hard-earned money just duplicating their
ideal
Fix the agreement mistake
ideals
show examples
.
Submitted by first.kantapat on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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