Many people try to balance work and other parts of their life. However, this is very difficult to do. What are the problems associated with this? What is the best way to achieve a better balance?

A considerable number of people are increasingly concerned with individual happiness and
work
-life balance.
This
essay will discuss extra working
hours
and suffering from mental
health
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
problems and
also
describe raising salaries by enterprises and extending
holiday
Fix the agreement mistake
holidays
show examples
by
companies
as solutions. The problems are extra working
hours
and suffering from mental
health
.
Employees
have to
work
overtime to earn
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
salary to pay
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
life
costing
Replace the word
costs
show examples
. For earning money they have to
work
more so that they will be tired at the end of their working days and they will not have enough time to devote their attention to different parts of life.
For example
, a large number of Iranian
workers
have to
work
overtime, due to financial issues and sanctions imposed by America. The
second
problem is suffering from mental
health
. Burnout can lead to exhaustion, worsened job performance, and depression.
Employees
might experience poor sleep and
increased
Correct article usage
an increased
show examples
chance of stroke.
For instance
, psychologists found that
workers
who logged 11
hours
per day were more likely to battle depression than those who worked seven to eight
hours
. The solutions are raising salaries by enterprises and extending
holiday
Fix the agreement mistake
holidays
show examples
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
companies
. It's important to give
employees
raise
Correct subject-verb agreement
raises
show examples
so that they do not have to
work
overtime and
also
boost employee performance.
For example
, McDonald's the fast-food giant sought to attract customers by improving 10% of its
workers
' wages on the premise that happier
workers
make happier customers. The
second
solution is extending
holiday
Fix the agreement mistake
holidays
show examples
by
companies
. Extra holidays enable citizens to take days off
work
to tend to take trips
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and get together with friends and family. So that it can have a positive impact on their working times.
For instance
,
employees
can use floating holidays set by
companies
and can typically choose which days they want to take off. To conclude, the problems are extra working
hours
and suffering from mental
health
and the solutions are raising salaries by enterprises and extending
holiday
Fix the agreement mistake
holidays
show examples
by
companies
. To balance
work
-life and individual happiness
companies
should raise wages and extend holidays
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
employees
which will be a win-win situation.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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