IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some University students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion

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A number of university
students
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 want to gain knowledge about other
subjects
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as well as
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 their own subject, it is argued among individuals that
this
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 action is not important and
students
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 should just pay all their attention to their own
subjects
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 so that they can be an expert in their own field. In
this
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 essay, I discuss both of these notions and give my own opinion.
To begin
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 with, some
students
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 chose their current subject because they had
passion
Add an article
a passion
show examples
 for it,
while
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 others were forced by their parents or other factors to choose it. I have
this
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 belief that, once you select a course for yourself there is no going back,
moreover
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, you are forced to
study
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 it completely,
however
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, a student can
study
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 other courses at the same time as their main course.
This
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 thing not only
hurt
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hurts
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 anything but
also
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, it can be a good opportunity for them to
study
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 their favourite
subjects
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along with
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 their own
subjects
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,
furthermore
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, they can gain a lot of knowledge in different areas and use them as a source of revenue for themselves.
For example
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,
according to
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 an article which was published on the BBC website,the percentage of
students
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 who were studying distinctive courses at Cambridge University was about seventy-eight, and it was
due to
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 the fact that some of them did not enjoy their current major or they wanted to learn other
subjects
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 as well.
However
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, some people have
this
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 opinion that a student needs to be perfect in their own field of
study
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,
this
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 is because, they think learning other studies might completely hurt their current situation,
moreover
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, by getting themselves involved
to
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in
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 other fields they can get a lower score or lose their qualification in their own field. I completely disagree with them, because I believe some learners are capable and they can adapt themselves to difficult circumstances,
in addition
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, when someone has a passion or a motivation, they can do all sorts of challenging things.
To sum up
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, as I mentioned, I have
this
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 opinion that
students
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 can and should learn about other
subjects
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, because it can be beneficial to them,
for instance
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, it can be a source of money for them, and
also
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, it can fulfil their desires and dreams which they did not
achieved
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achieve
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 it
due to
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 a reason.

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Organization
Try to maintain a clear and more concise structure throughout your essay. While your points are valid and well-explained, tighter organization could enhance clarity and impact.
Language Usage
Consider varying your sentence structures more to demonstrate a wider range of linguistic capabilities. This will make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
Content Enhancement
To further strengthen your argument, consider including more detailed examples or evidence. Specific examples can significantly enhance your essay by providing clear support for your points.
Task Response
Providing a balanced discussion of both viewpoints before stating your own opinion shows an excellent understanding of the essay task.
Content Insight
Your ability to articulate why students might pursue additional subjects alongside their major demonstrates a good grasp of the topic's complexities.
Use of Examples
The inclusion of a real-world example (the BBC article about Cambridge University) adds credibility and interest to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
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