Some University students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion

A number of university
students
want to gain knowledge about other
subjects
as well as
their own subject, it is argued among individuals that
this
action is not important and
students
should just pay all their attention to their own
subjects
so that they can be an expert in their own field. In
this
essay, I discuss both of these notions and give my own opinion.
To begin
with, some
students
chose their current subject because they had
passion
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a passion
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for it,
while
others were forced by their parents or other factors to choose it. I have
this
belief that, once you select a course for yourself there is no going back,
moreover
, you are forced to
study
it completely,
however
, a student can
study
other courses at the same time as their main course.
This
thing not only
hurt
Wrong verb form
hurts
show examples
anything but
also
, it can be a good opportunity for them to
study
their favourite
subjects
along with
their own
subjects
,
furthermore
, they can gain a lot of knowledge in different areas and use them as a source of revenue for themselves.
For example
,
according to
an article which was published on the BBC website,the percentage of
students
who were studying distinctive courses at Cambridge University was about seventy-eight, and it was
due to
the fact that some of them did not enjoy their current major or they wanted to learn other
subjects
as well.
However
, some people have
this
opinion that a student needs to be perfect in their own field of
study
,
this
is because, they think learning other studies might completely hurt their current situation,
moreover
, by getting themselves involved
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
other fields they can get a lower score or lose their qualification in their own field. I completely disagree with them, because I believe some learners are capable and they can adapt themselves to difficult circumstances,
in addition
, when someone has a passion or a motivation, they can do all sorts of challenging things.
To sum up
, as I mentioned, I have
this
opinion that
students
can and should learn about other
subjects
, because it can be beneficial to them,
for instance
, it can be a source of money for them, and
also
, it can fulfil their desires and dreams which they did not
achieved
Change the verb form
achieve
show examples
it
due to
a reason.
Submitted by abbasisarina340 on

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Organization
Try to maintain a clear and more concise structure throughout your essay. While your points are valid and well-explained, tighter organization could enhance clarity and impact.
Language Usage
Consider varying your sentence structures more to demonstrate a wider range of linguistic capabilities. This will make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
Content Enhancement
To further strengthen your argument, consider including more detailed examples or evidence. Specific examples can significantly enhance your essay by providing clear support for your points.
Task Response
Providing a balanced discussion of both viewpoints before stating your own opinion shows an excellent understanding of the essay task.
Content Insight
Your ability to articulate why students might pursue additional subjects alongside their major demonstrates a good grasp of the topic's complexities.
Use of Examples
The inclusion of a real-world example (the BBC article about Cambridge University) adds credibility and interest to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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