IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#cultures #technology
It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as
technology
 develops.
Technology
 and traditional cultures are incompatible. In my opinion, I think
this
 notion is unreasonable and I will explain why I do not agree with
this
 notion in the following paragraph.
Firstly
, Traditional culture will be well-known by being publicized on the internet. To illustrate,
Thailand
 has various local festivals
such
 as Tak Bat
Thevo
Correct your spelling
Their
, the festival in which local peoples offer food to the monks with gigantic than normal traditions, which is held every year at The End of Buddhist Lent Day in the Northern region of
Thailand
. Tak Bat
Thevo
Correct your spelling
Their
 invites Buddhist
people
 all over
Thailand
 to travel to rural areas of the Northern Provinces by publicizing
this
 festival on social media. If
people
 in the country are interested in
this
 festival, It will be hard to disappear from
Thailand
.
Secondly
, Local
people
 can use social media to invite relatives in family or tourists to enjoy traditional cultures.
For example
, the Christmas market in Europe every year was seen by Thai
people
 via social media. Some Thai
people
 enjoy
this
 traditional culture and invite relatives in
Thailand
 to join in
this
 festival.
Furthermore
, advances in
technology
also
 make a great contribution to the development of the traditions in the countryside.
Technology
 makes it far easier for the farmers when the harvest season comes,
this
 development
also
 helps
people
 living in the suburbs have more opportunities to access the latest information by using the Internet. In conclusion, in some cases it is true that the loss of customs and beliefs is brought about by technological developments;
however
, in some areas, many traditions are still preserved despite the significant advance in
technology
.
Submitted by first.kantapat on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • inevitable
  • traditional cultures
  • technological development
  • modern society
  • incompatible
  • decline
  • traditional crafts
  • rituals
  • digital communication
  • preserve
  • promote
  • documentation
  • online archives
  • virtual museums
  • social media
  • coexist
  • integrates
  • digital storytelling
  • augmented reality
  • cultural tourism
  • perspective
What to do next:
Look at other essays: