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Band 7

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarket in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#development #expansion #supermarket #countries #business #people #closure #death #communities
In recent years,
supermarkets
 experienced a grand renovation and quick expansion in some countries, resulting in many local shops not being able to compete to that standard, which leads to people believing that their timely disappearance will result in the death of some local
communities
.
This
 essay agrees with
this
 statement since local
communities
 are preserved by the earnings of some of those local stores and
families
 in those
communities
 have most of their relatives working in those
businesses
. Local
communities
 have revenue from the income acquired by the local
businesses
.
Consequently
, if these shops have to close there will not be any money to support the community and it will eventually disappear.
For example
, most gipsies have their local stands in some fairs, but with the racism presented in some countries towards them, they are not able to put up the stands and have to flee to other places because they cannot provide for themselves.
In addition
, the
families
 that constitute the local
communities
 have most of their relatives working in these stores and
businesses
.
However
, if the stores do not thrive and eventually fail because of the competition with
supermarkets
, these
families
 will not have any choice but to search for other places or jobs outside the community. Recent research shows that with the boom of
supermarkets
, 20% of local store owners gave up their
businesses
 and started working in those
supermarkets
 which was the same reason for the wrecking of their
businesses
. In conclusion, the falling of local
businesses
 is the reason for the disappearance of so many local
communities
.
This
 is due to the lack of profit of some local
businesses
 because of racial segregation or even because when they fail most of the
families
 that own them have to search for new forms of income outside of the community.
Submitted by first.kantapat on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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