Some people think that the best way to be successful in life is to get a university education. Others disagree and say this is no longer true. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #life #university #education

According to some

people

Add a comma

,people

show examples

graduate

degree

is an excellent tool to have

success

life

,but some others oppose

such

an impression.I too believe that even without a

degree

people

can become successful as the true key to

success

lies in the determination ,perseverance and mindset of an individual.

College

Correct article usage

A college

show examples

education

does not give a guarantee

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a comfortable

problem free

Add a hyphen

problem-free

show examples

and wealthy

life

This

is because many students attend universities just for having fun, minimum attendance to be eligible for writing the final exam,cram the portions during study holidays and thereby receive the

degree

with the least effort.

tThey

Correct your spelling

they

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

lack the necessary skills and knowledge required to survive in the real world.

Hence

,once graduated they are unable to utilize the

degree

in hand in the highly competitive market due to

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of basic

life

skills. Whereas some highly intelligent and smart

people

are denied

college

Add an article

a college

show examples

education

due to lack of money or social situation.But those

Add a hyphen

strong-willed

show examples

strong willed

Add a hyphen

strong-willed

show examples

people

make use of the limited resources available to them to build their steps

towards

Change preposition

toward

show examples

success

For example

,some of the top sports

people

or celebrities do not have high formal

education

,yet they are

world famous

Add a hyphen

world-famous

show examples

with all kinds of luxuries available to them.

This

shows that the right mindset,motivation,mental strength and the ability to dream are the true indicators of

success

in a person’s

life

. To conclude,I believe that a mere college

degree

cannot determine the

success

of a person’s

life

Education

is important and can be learned from university or through

life

experience and

though

Correct your spelling

through

show examples

a university

education

opens door to more opportunities,the main factor is the personal mindset and belief.

Submitted by gokulraj on Sun Jun 12 2022

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that the best way to be successful in life is to get a university education. Others disagree and say this is no longer true. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

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Some people believe that air travel should be restricted because it causes serious pollution and uses up the worlds fuel resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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