IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The new media has a strong negative influence on people's live. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

#media #influence #people
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The new technologies have many influences
in
Change preposition
on
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 human life these days and make lots of
people
Use synonyms
 consuming news easier with a variety of benefits.
Although
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, there are some case studies of the drawbacks that might impact mankind.
Besides
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, I partially agree with the statement that new media offer negative influences. On one hand, when
people
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 spend too much time with their smartphones, it impacts
the
Change the word
their
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 time management.
For example
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, TikTok ,which is a successful company for short videos, is very popular with many young adults,
has
Correct word choice
and has
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 been used significantly. Surprisingly, the latest research from Bath University discovered that 75
percent
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per cent
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 of youngsters, who own smartphones, spend their time on screen
more
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for more
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 than 8 hours.
Moreover
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,
cyber bullying
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cyberbullying
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 has increased the suicidal rate who has been known to use anonymous accounts for
depression maker
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depression-maker
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 purposes.
On the other hand
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, the usefulness of online media can connect
people
Use synonyms
 together effectively.
Thus
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,
this
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 could make
people
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 have
a
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apply
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speedy communication
such
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 as Twitter
that
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which
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 let
people
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to
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apply
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update their opinion or the news.
Furthermore
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, not only
social
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does social
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 interaction
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
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 from the internet but
also
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 makes many businesses have more channels to sell their products.
For instance
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, online selling,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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makes
people
Use synonyms
 buy products without going to the shop.
Hence
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, it attracts many entrepreneurs for the investment that would make the money flow and the rising in GDP. In conclusion, the consumption of modern media make citizens' life easier and make lots of money.
However
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, it has many impacts
from
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on
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 human lifestyle to
human's
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human
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 mental health.
Submitted by chatchypol on

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