IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people dislike changes in their society and in their own lives, and want things to stay the same. Why do some people want things to stay the same? Why should change be regarded as something positive?

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n our society,
while
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 some
individuals
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 cling to the same way of life resisting the currents of
change
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 in society and their personal lives, others recognize
change
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 as a catalyst for progress and growth.
This
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 essay will explore the motivations behind
this
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 resistance to
change
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 and illuminate why embracing
change
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 is often essential for individual and societal advancement. One primary reason why
individuals
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 resist
change
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 stems from a natural human inclination towards routine and predictability. For them, familiar patterns and established routines provide a sense of security and control in an often chaotic world, and
change
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 disrupts
this
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 equilibrium, introducing uncertainty and the potential for discomfort.
Individuals
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 may fear losing cherished traditions, established social structures, or even their sense of personal identity when confronted with societal shifts.
For example
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, the rapid advancement of technology can be unsettling for those accustomed to traditional methods of communication or work.
Furthermore
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, negative past experiences with
change
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 can create a sense of apprehension and distrust.
Individuals
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 who have witnessed poorly managed societal reforms or experienced personal setbacks
due to
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 unforeseen circumstances may develop a cynical outlook, viewing
change
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 as inherently detrimental.
For example
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, a community that has experienced negative consequences from poorly planned urban development might resist future infrastructure projects.
However
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,
change
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,
while
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 sometimes unsettling, is the engine of progress. It is through adaptation and innovation that societies evolve and improve. Technological advancements,
for instance
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, have revolutionized healthcare, communication, and countless other aspects of modern life, leading to increased lifespans, greater connectivity, and improved standards of living. Social reforms,
while
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 often met with initial resistance, have led to greater equality, justice, and opportunity for marginalized groups. The civil rights movement,
for example
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, drastically altered the social and political landscape, dismantling discriminatory practices and paving the way for a more inclusive society. On a personal level, embracing
change
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 fosters resilience, adaptability, and personal growth. Stepping outside of one's comfort zone, confronting new challenges, and learning new skills broaden horizons and enrich lives. In conclusion,
while
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 the human desire for stability and predictability is understandable, resisting
change
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 ultimately hinders progress and limits potential.
Change
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,
while
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 sometimes disruptive, is the driving force behind societal advancement and personal growth.

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your thesis statement clearly outlines the main points you will discuss in the essay. While it is present, it could be more precise in specifying the points you will elaborate on.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to introduce transitions between your paragraphs to enhance flow. For instance, using phrases like 'In addition' or 'Moreover' can help make connections between your ideas clearer.
Task Achievement
Consider providing a more detailed example of a personal experience or societal change that was successful, as this would enhance your argument regarding the positive aspects of change.
Task Achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents well-developed arguments for both resistance to change and the benefits of embracing it.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically structured, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the discussion, making it easier for the reader to follow your reasoning.
Task Achievement
You have effectively used relevant examples, such as technology and the civil rights movement, to support your points, which strengthens your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Status quo
  • Skepticism
  • Inevitable
  • Progression
  • Innovation
  • Cultural identity
  • Familiarity
  • Aversion
  • Adaptability
  • Comfort zone
  • Economic stability
  • Global awareness
  • Personal growth
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