IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Nowadays, sports is a big business with high earnings for professional sports people and companies involved both financially and other ways. Is this a positive or negative development for sports?

#sports #business #earnings #people #companies #development
Nowadays,
sports
 is a big business with high earnings for professional
sports
people
 and
companies
 involved both financially and in other ways. It is a win-win situation between professional
sports
people
 and
companies
. Sport gets the financial assistance it desperately needs.
Companies
 build their brands.
However
,
this
 development, too, has some negative aspects. That I will explain in the following paragraph. On the one hand, Brand
companies
 earn millions of dollars to improve athletes to be professionals. It makes
sports
people
 eagle to practice and play various programmes. In the past,
Sports
players
 do not have money sufficient to live.
This
 deterred many talented
players
 from pursuing a career in
sports
. Now the situation is totally different. Corporate sponsorship has
also
 helped many sporting events from becoming extinct.
On the other hand
, when
sports
 become a business. The turning point will change from talent to making a profit to brand
companies
. sometimes the same can lead to problems like match-fixing. It is not uncommon for international cricket and football
players
 to get involved in match-fixing controversies. The pressure to perform can
also
 compel many
players
 to consume performance-enhancing drugs.
Furthermore
, the events that attract corporate involvement are already popular on their own.
Players
 of another type were neglected and unpopular. After analyzing both sides of the argument, it is not hard to see that corporates entering the field of
sports
 is both good and bad. Big prize money and sponsorship deals will definitely encourage more
people
 to pursue a career in
sports
.
On the other hand
,
companies
 will always have business interests in their mind. Sometimes
this
 can take the focus off the game.
Submitted by first.kantapat on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: