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Writing Samples
Band 5

In some cultures, children are being told that anything can be achieved with enough hard work. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this statement?

Children
Use synonyms
 are being told that nothing is impossible unless
you
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 have sufficient struggle in
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 life
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 different cultures.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 thing helps
children
Use synonyms
 to make more efforts and get them boosted for any task. But, adolescents can be disappointed so time by not achieving a particular goal.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 essay will explore about benefits and drawbacks of
this
Linking Words
 statement. Well,
this
Linking Words
 statement actually falls in every society. Parents are used to say their kids since childhood. The one who has not
Linking Words
such
Correct your spelling
much
show examples
 confidence to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
his bigger dream,
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can take it positively and achieve
by
Correct pronoun usage
it by
show examples
 trying hard.
For instance
Linking Words
, most of their
children
Use synonyms
 in their
Correct your spelling
upbringing
show examples
up bringing
Correct your spelling
upbringing
show examples
 age have dreams to become
pilot
Fix the agreement mistake
pilots
show examples
 but few of them can be,
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
 just because of their crystal clear focus on their goals.
Linking Words
Secondly
Add a comma
,Secondly
show examples
 it can be beneficial for those as well who do not have any interest
in
Linking Words
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
show examples
 job but they are willing to pursue
Correct pronoun usage
it for
show examples
for
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
their parents’ happiness. In Pakistan, parents
are usually compare
Change the verb form
usually compare
show examples
 their
children
Use synonyms
 with each other.
For instance
Linking Words
, there is a race going
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 medical or engineering field and many youngsters
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 no interests.
In contrast
Linking Words
, they have to focus to meet their parents’
wish
Fix the agreement mistake
wishes
show examples
 so after a sufficient amount of hard work they become the doctor or
engineer
Fix the agreement mistake
engineers
show examples
 by hearing
this
Linking Words
 statement through bout their studies. While,
on the other hand
Linking Words
,
some times
Correct your spelling
sometimes
show examples
 it has a bad impact as well. Like, an adult tried hard and could not achieve his goal and
consequently
Linking Words
 took
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 wrong step.
For example
Linking Words
, one who wants to pass
civil
Correct article usage
a civil
show examples
 services exam by struggling about sixteen to eighteen hours a day, but unfortunately he fails the exam and
in
Change preposition
as
show examples
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
 attempts suicide. To sum up,
this
Linking Words
 motivation is necessary for
children
Use synonyms
 to stay
focus
Change the form of the verb
focused
show examples
Correct your spelling
on
show examples
no
Correct your spelling
on
show examples
 their goals, whereas it needs to
be illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 that
every one
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
 has their own interests, skills power and
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
 right. So they should listen but decide
as
Correct word choice
what
show examples
 they want relevant to their hobbies.

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Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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