IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some government say how many children a family can have in their country. they may control the number of children someone has through taxes it is sometimes necessary and right for a government to control the population in this way. do you agree or disagree?

#government #children #country #control #someone #taxes #right #population
The bar graph depicts how
noise
 pollution from traffic, trains, aircraft and industries has affected the
people
 of Europe in urban and rural
areas
 during the
day
 and at
night
 in the year 2007. Overall,
although
, both the
areas
 were struggling with
noise
, the
cities
 were noisier in comparison to the villages. While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the maximum number of
people
 were disturbed due to traffic
noises
, the least
noise
 pollution was made by industries.
Nevertheless
, at
night
 lesser
noises
 have been recorded in
cities
 and rural
areas
. Almost 64
million
 and 48
million
people
 were affected by the
noise
 made by vehicles in the
cities
 during the
day
 and at
night
 respectively.
However
, half amount of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 affected in the rural
areas
.
Noises
 from trains were far lesser than traffic
noises
. In the
cities
, 10
million
people
 were disturbed by train
noises
 during the
day
 and 8
million
 at
night
. Whereas, in the countryside, the figure dropped by 2
million
 respectively at both times.
Noises
 made by aeroplanes have affected twice more
people
 in the
cities
 during the
day
,
however
, at
night
 the same amount of
people
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 affected by the
noises
(with 1
million
 respectively).
Nevertheless
, due to the non-establishment of industries in the countryside, no one was affected by the industrial
noises
, whereas in the urban centres around 1
million
people
 were disturbed during the
day
 while at
night
 25% of
people
 were disturbed.
Submitted by meghaseth20 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!