Some people argue that the retirement age should be raised significantly, given that average life expectancy has increased greatly. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued by some
people
Use synonyms
that, due to the great rise in average lifespan,
people
Use synonyms
should be allowed to retire at much later ages. Financially speaking,
this
Linking Words
might sound like a decent idea, but the adoption of
such
Linking Words
a policy will result in huge troubles. As taxpayers, many
people
Use synonyms
share a hefty part of their income with their own government, hoping that they will be taken care of when necessary, whether at times of distress or old
age
Use synonyms
. In Nordic countries,
for example
Linking Words
, as much as half your salary can be cut to ensure a sustainable financial system. Many find
this
Linking Words
acceptable since they are aware that their living standards will be maintained well into their old
age
Use synonyms
. And if the same kind of
people
Use synonyms
realize that they might have to keep working almost until they die, they might no longer want to be
this
Linking Words
willing to pay high taxes, potentially destroying the system itself. When we work hard, we do so thinking that brighter days will follow ahead. Being denied
such
Linking Words
a dream will only make the matters worse. We should
also
Linking Words
not underestimate the problems that surface at old
age
Use synonyms
. Excluding some rare cases, most of us suffer from health problems
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and declined power levels beginning from our 60s. Even if we can live up to well into our 90s, especially thanks to advances in medicine, we will still be prone to similar problems. Living longer does not necessarily mean that our quality of life will
also
Linking Words
be higher. Almost anything feels harder after our 60s—maintaining focus, doing intense physical activity even for a few minutes, feeling energetic enough, getting used to new technology and so on. Most retire around their 60s, and trying to extend
this
Linking Words
limit will increase the frequency of work-related injuries, doing more harm than good. In conclusion, even if life expectancy seems to be rising, it would not be fair to proportionally increase the retirement
age
Use synonyms
, as we cannot function all that well after our 60s.
Submitted by idilim1230 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • retirement age
  • life expectancy
  • economic sustainability
  • workforce participation
  • elderly population
  • pension schemes
  • inter-generational fairness
  • mandatory retirement
  • ageism
  • job market competition
  • financial security
  • age demographics
  • automation
  • social welfare
  • active aging
What to do next:
Look at other essays: