Environmental damage is a problem in most countries. What is the cause of this damage? What should be done about this problem?

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In recent years, many countries reported some problems regarding our
environment
Use synonyms
. These issues are suspected as the focal reason for climate change. I believe that there are two causes of
this
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damage and some solution needs to be taken.
To begin
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with, there are two crucial reasons which are harming the
environment
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.
Firstly
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, the main cause is the leap in population over these 20 years.
This
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rise leads to numerous problems in order to satisfy human needs,
such
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as the development of residential areas, the increase in
wardrobe
Correct article usage
the wardrobe
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industry, food, and other supplementary needs. Even worse, people drain these life sources from our planet which leads to destruction. Another reason for
this
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damaging phenomenon is the mining sector. The excessive mining
activities
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in some countries are damaging the neighbourhood of the mining area. As an illustration, the land issue in Sidoarjo, East Java, was caused by irresponsible mining
activities
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. It took a vast area of the city and the houses of its citizens. In order to solve
this
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issue, some solutions need to be executed by the government and individuals.
Firstly
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, the government should come forward to protect the
environment
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from disasters.
For example
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, the United Nations could make a certain regulation regarding the building of residential areas which usually demolish green spaces.
In addition
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, each country can implement a limitation in terms of eco-friendly equipment for industry sectors, so it can produce its product with less emission.
Lastly
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, each individual can participate in
this
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effort by implementing a minimalist lifestyle. In summary, as human needs in various aspects and mining
activities
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are harming the
environment
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, some measures need to be taken. These actions consist of governmental and individual acts. Government can set a limit and make a regulation on people's
activities
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and individuals can shift to frugal living.
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task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the topics that will be discussed and avoid using broad or general statements without explicitly linking them to the question.
task achievement
While the essay provides a complete response, strive to develop a clearer position throughout your essay. It is crucial that your opinion, where relevant, is clear and maintained throughout the essay.
task achievement
In the main body, work on providing more in-depth explanations and expand on the ideas presented with additional details to illustrate your points more clearly.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but transitional phrases and cohesive devices could be used more effectively to demonstrate the relationship between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Try to develop each paragraph around one main idea with sufficient supporting detail. Multiple ideas in one paragraph can confuse the reader.
coherence cohesion
Integrate conclusion effectively by summarising the main points and restating the thesis in a way that reflects the discussion in the essay.

Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • industrialization
  • habitat destruction
  • urbanization
  • overpopulation
  • overexploitation
  • deforestation
  • biodiversity
  • waste management
  • fossil fuels
  • air pollution
  • climate change
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable agriculture
  • recycling systems
  • international cooperation
  • conservation
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