IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Governments should spend tax money on public libraries rather than public transportation improvements. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#governments #tax #money #libraries #transportation #improvements
Tax
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A tax
The tax
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 collected from the public is fundamental
such
 that it should be utilized well by the executive to facilitate better living
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
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of
Change preposition
in
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 the community.Many folks
be
Change the verb form
are
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 of the opinion that the state should utilize
levy
Correct article usage
a levy
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 stipend on citizen libraries rather than improving local buses and trains.In my opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 disagree with
this
 assertion and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will elaborate more in the paragraphs.
Firstly
,
transport
Add an article
the transport
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 system is imperative as it
connect
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connects
show examples
 people all over the world
such
 that
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
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 blink of
the
Correct article usage
an
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 eye on
this
 system can cause big havoc all over the world.
Inaddition
Correct your spelling
In addition
,improving local shipping
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
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 with technology will reduce private vehicles
such
 that there will be less pollution and money will be saved which can be focused on other priorities.
For example
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
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 research done by the University of Nairobi depicts that 80% of
developed
Add an article
the developed
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 country has
up to date
Add a hyphen
up-to-date
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 transport system.
Therefore
,
state
Add an article
the state
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 has a
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 of utilizing cess in a way that
benefit
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benefits
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 each and every member of the society and
considering
Wrong verb form
consider
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 priority and other alternatives.
Secondly
,technology has greatly improved access to information and at a very affordable rate
such
 that people do not
necessarly
Correct your spelling
necessarily
 need to visit a library for
a certain information
Remove the article
certain information
a piece of certain information
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.
Furthermore
,there are many
rule
Fix the agreement mistake
rules
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 and
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
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 in the library
such
 as keeping silent and returning books within one month.
For example
,many students in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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universities are downloading books and reading journals online.
Therefore
,few members of the society will utilize
this
 office
hence
 they end up
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
other alternative
Change the wording
another alternative
other alternatives
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that
is
Correct your spelling
as
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 online systems. To sum up,cess collection is fundamental.
Although
 public libraries and transport are made for locals,nowadays information can be accessed online so the executive should spend more money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the travel.
Submitted by Sabina Hamisi on

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