IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Governments should spend tax money on public libraries rather than public transportation improvements. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#governments #tax #money #libraries #transportation #improvements
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Tax
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A tax
The tax
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 collected from the public is fundamental
such
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 that it should be utilized well by the executive to facilitate better living
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
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of
Change preposition
in
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 the community.Many folks
be
Change the verb form
are
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 of the opinion that the state should utilize
levy
Correct article usage
a levy
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 stipend on citizen libraries rather than improving local buses and trains.In my opinion,
i
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I
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 disagree with
this
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 assertion and
i
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I
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 will elaborate more in the paragraphs.
Firstly
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,
transport
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the transport
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 system is imperative as it
connect
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connects
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 people all over the world
such
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 that
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
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 blink of
the
Correct article usage
an
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 eye on
this
Linking Words
 system can cause big havoc all over the world.
Inaddition
Correct your spelling
In addition
,improving local shipping
especially
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,especially
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 with technology will reduce private vehicles
such
Linking Words
 that there will be less pollution and money will be saved which can be focused on other priorities.
For example
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,
a
Correct article usage
apply
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 research done by the University of Nairobi depicts that 80% of
developed
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the developed
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 country has
up to date
Add a hyphen
up-to-date
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 transport system.
Therefore
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,
state
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the state
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 has a
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 of utilizing cess in a way that
benefit
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benefits
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 each and every member of the society and
considering
Wrong verb form
consider
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 priority and other alternatives.
Secondly
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,technology has greatly improved access to information and at a very affordable rate
such
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 that people do not
necessarly
Correct your spelling
necessarily
 need to visit a library for
a certain information
Remove the article
certain information
a piece of certain information
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.
Furthermore
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,there are many
rule
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rules
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 and
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
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 in the library
such
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 as keeping silent and returning books within one month.
For example
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,many students in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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universities are downloading books and reading journals online.
Therefore
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,few members of the society will utilize
this
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 office
hence
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 they end up
for
Change preposition
with
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other alternative
Change the wording
another alternative
other alternatives
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that
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is
Correct your spelling
as
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 online systems. To sum up,cess collection is fundamental.
Although
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 public libraries and transport are made for locals,nowadays information can be accessed online so the executive should spend more money
for
Change preposition
on
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 the travel.
Submitted by Sabina Hamisi on

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