IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some feel government rather than private companies should be in charge of medical services. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#feel #government #companies #charge #services
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As it is globally known that
health
Use synonyms
 is wealth. It is argued by some set of individuals that
health
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services
Use synonyms
 should be handled by the
government
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 rather than private ownership companies. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion which will be discussed better in
this
Linking Words
 essay. Moreso,
this
Linking Words
 is because
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government
Add an article
the government
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 always provide free medical
services
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 to
citizenry
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the citizenry
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 and high salary provision to
workers
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.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, governments are in the best position to provide medical
services
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 to people. To simplify
this
Linking Words
, free
health
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services
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 are very pivotal to humanity and these are received from the
government
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 to the citizens, which are done with ease by them.
For instance
Linking Words
, 90% of pregnant women received free delivery
services
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 in 2011, which was authorized by the
government
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it make
situation
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the situation
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 easier for pregnant women that year whereby no bills were paid
by
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to
show examples
 them.
Furthermore
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,
high
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a high
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 salary is a great way of motivation which are paid by the federal to their
workers
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 in order to function effectively. To make
this
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 more clearer, most of the private companies
workers
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 are
under-paid
Correct your spelling
underpaid
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 and
this
Linking Words
 makes them
to
Change the verb form
apply
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be
reluntant
Correct your spelling
reluctant
 to carry out their duty perfectly. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, a study carried out in 2019 in a private hospital demonstrated that
Use synonyms
health care
Correct your spelling
healthcare
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workers
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 are under pressure and render poor medical
services
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 because they are underpaid by their
employer
Fix the agreement mistake
employers
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. It is recommended that the
government
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 should look into hospitals owned by individuals and ensure their
workers
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 are adequately paid. In conclusion, private organizations are not in the best position to provide adequate
health
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services
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 to citizens because of
their
Change the word
the
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 low salary range
to
Change preposition
for
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 their
workers
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.
Additionally
Linking Words
, assistance
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 mostly performed by governments which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 them superior.
Hence
Linking Words
, governments should be interested in private organizations for better
health
Use synonyms
 wellness.
Submitted by adedayoadesewa1 on

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