Some people believe that what children watch on television influences their behaviour. Others say that amount of time spent watching television influences their behaviour. Discuss both views and give your own opinion!

#people #children #television #influences #behaviour #amount #time

It is frequently believed that the content which children watch on

television

affects their behaviour, while there are others who assume that watching duration on

television

gives the worst effect. In my view, what adolescents enjoy on

television

definitely influences them a lot compared with the time spent. Spending a long duration keeping their eyes on the

television

drives at least two effects on adolescents, both physically and psychologically. Toddlers are exposed

Change preposition

show examples

dangerous light from

television

and

this

provokes a hazardous impact on their health and might lead to temporary blindness if they watch the

television

excessively.

Moreover

, they might suffer from obesity because they extremely enjoy it and limit their body movement. Another impact generated from

this

phenomenon is their interaction with their peers. It is better for them to hang out with their friends and bond the relationship

instead

of wasting a long time rooted facing the

television

. In tandem with

this

television

content is getting developed right now. People of

vary

Replace the word

various

show examples

ages can easily access the show on

television

including children. The advertisement published in the media persuades them to spend their money on unnecessary goods

such

as toys and unhealthy food. Not only that, the worst impact is the crime that possibly affects their behaviour. The massive publication of alcohol, narcotics and pornography increases their curiosity to

try

Correct pronoun usage

ittry

show examples

. Undoubtedly, if parents only paid little attention to them,

this

might increase the crime rate in the country. In conclusion, advertisements and inappropriate publications on

television

highly affect toddlers' behaviour in comparison with the long duration spent, and parents should guide them a lot to face

this

challenging phenomenon. The lack of attention of the parents might provoke the children to commit the crime perpetually.

Submitted by IELTS B9 on Wed Jun 15 2022

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

288 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

influence behaviour
violent content
inappropriate content
educational programs
role models
aggressive behaviour
positive behaviour
sedentary lifestyle
physical health issues
social interactions
social skills
parental involvement
moderate impact

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Some people believe that what children watch on television influences their behaviour. Others say that amount of time spent watching television influences their behaviour. Discuss both views and give your own opinion!

Fully explain your ideas

Some cities create new housing for their growing populations by constructing a small number of high-rise buildings. Other cities create more of low-rise buildings. Which solution is better, in your opinion

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

Your neighbor keeps his/her animal in the garden. Write to him/her about it and the inconvenience it causes you and your family. In your letter · tell what the problem is · explain why it causes inconvenience · suggest a possible solution to it

In some countries, more and more people are hiring personal fitness trainers, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes What is the reason for this Is this a positive or negative development