Some people believe that what children watch on television influences their behaviour. Others say that amount of time spent watching television influences their behaviour. Discuss both views and give your own opinion!

#people #children #television #influences #behaviour #amount #time

It is frequently believed that the content which children watch on

television

affects their behaviour, while there are others who assume that watching duration on

television

gives the worst effect. In my view, what adolescents enjoy on

television

definitely influences them a lot compared with the time spent. Spending a long duration keeping their eyes on the

television

drives at least two effects on adolescents, both physically and psychologically. Toddlers are exposed

Change preposition

show examples

dangerous light from

television

and

this

provokes a hazardous impact on their health and might lead to temporary blindness if they watch the

television

excessively.

Moreover

, they might suffer from obesity because they extremely enjoy it and limit their body movement. Another impact generated from

this

phenomenon is their interaction with their peers. It is better for them to hang out with their friends and bond the relationship

instead

of wasting a long time rooted facing the

television

. In tandem with

this

television

content is getting developed right now. People of

vary

Replace the word

various

show examples

ages can easily access the show on

television

including children. The advertisement published in the media persuades them to spend their money on unnecessary goods

such

as toys and unhealthy food. Not only that, the worst impact is the crime that possibly affects their behaviour. The massive publication of alcohol, narcotics and pornography increases their curiosity to

try

Correct pronoun usage

ittry

show examples

. Undoubtedly, if parents only paid little attention to them,

this

might increase the crime rate in the country. In conclusion, advertisements and inappropriate publications on

television

highly affect toddlers' behaviour in comparison with the long duration spent, and parents should guide them a lot to face

this

challenging phenomenon. The lack of attention of the parents might provoke the children to commit the crime perpetually.

Submitted by IELTS B9 on Wed Jun 15 2022

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

288 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that what children watch on television influences their behaviour. Others say that amount of time spent watching television influences their behaviour. Discuss both views and give your own opinion!

Fully explain your ideas

Organizational Structure & Designations of Walton Hi-Tech Industries PLC.

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people feel that boarding schools (where students or pupils live at the school during the term) are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for a number of reasons. Consider both sides of this debate and reach a conclusion.

The internet has become profoundly efficient and popular that people choose it as a platform to learn. Some believe that it would eventually replace the need for books. Do you agree or disagree?

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart shows the participation of children is selected leisure activities in Australia. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.