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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people believe that children have the freedom to make mistakes, while other argue that adults should prevent them doing so. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #freedom #mistakes #adults
Children
 require
knowledge
 by making
mistakes
. It's quite their human right, while
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 think that they should prevent from making
mistakes
 for their bright future. I strongly believe that both statements have valid
ground
Fix the agreement mistake
grounds
show examples
 in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of them. Now I am going to discuss both the opinions and
finally
 express my opinion regarding
this
 controversial issue.
Children
 are innocent, so they cannot define
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
right and wrong things. It is quite natural for them to make
mistakes
 due to a lack of
knowledge
.
This
 is the age of curiosity when they want to acquire
knowledge
 of all the unknown things. So they should not prevent
this
 trend of gaining
knowledge
.
For instance
, in Japan,
parents
 are given the opportunity for their
children
 to do anything without any restriction.
As a result
, they are becoming intellectual in the future, which leads them to be techno-heroes of the world. So all
parents
 should give their
children
freedom
Add an article
the freedom
show examples
 to acquire unlimited
knowledge
 at an early age of life.
On the other hand
, it's a Holi duty for
parents
 to keep their
children
 from making
mistakes
.
Moreover
, guardians are the
first
 guides for young people. So they must give the proper guidelines to their spring
they
Correct word choice
so they
show examples
 do not get a chance to derail.
For instance
, many countries in the world nowadays have formed some rules
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which it is directed at guardians not to do anything against their
children
's will.
This
 is not a good thing for young
children
 indeed.
Parents
 must have the right to control their
children
, who have listed society as a heavenly destination. From the discussion above, we can say that all the
children
 of the world learn everything by making
mistakes
. Guardians should allow them to do that at a certain level. After crossing the limit, they should prevent them from making
mistakes
.
Submitted by kalam16170 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • freedom to make mistakes
  • critical thinking skills
  • lifelong learning
  • guided learning environment
  • resilience
  • independence
  • overprotective
  • dependency
  • problem-solving skills
  • confidence
  • negative consequences
  • learning process
  • personal growth
  • trial and error
  • balance safety and learning
  • development
  • support and guidance
  • empowerment
  • risk-taking
  • life lessons
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