IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people however think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country
A lot of authorities have the notion that it is
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
show examples
 target for their country’s economic growth.
However
, there are
also
 people
hold
Correct pronoun usage
who hold
show examples
 different opinions that various forms of
progress
 are equally important. In
this
 essay, I would like to discuss both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
 of the argument and give my opinions with examples. There are many reasons why governing bodies think
prosperity
Correct article usage
the prosperity
show examples
 of their nations
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 vital. The recent examples of
availability
Correct article usage
the availability
show examples
 of Covid 19 vaccines are the best to illustrate the importance of rich
countries
 compared to
third
 world
countries
. As a prosperous country, one will be able to buy vaccines to protect its people and afford to lockdown while providing basic needs. In
additions
Fix the agreement mistake
addition
show examples
, economic
progress
 means they can represent better themselves
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
international
Add an article
the international
an international
show examples
 level
where
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 use resources to promote tourism and import exports.
Furthermore
, it is a norm to measure how well the government is managing their
countries
 and
hence
 it can lead to
win
Change the verb form
winning
show examples
 over
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 elections. On the other side of the argument, there are several sectors that need to
considered
Add a missing verb
be considered
show examples
 to be important as well. One of the obvious
sector
Change to a plural noun
sectors
show examples
 is
healthcare
Add an article
the healthcare
show examples
 system.
Governments
 must have
keen
Add an article
a keen
show examples
 interest and use their resources and train manpower to sustain virus outbreaks. When
countries
 are full of sick people, their economic pillars could cripple easily. Another crucial
progress
that is
 necessary to make is youth development. Government should educate young generations to start making career choices and equip
with
Correct pronoun usage
them with
show examples
 experience and skills so that
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 generations are ready for
intense
Correct article usage
the intense
show examples
 challenges we are facing nowadays. In conclusion, I am with the idea that while economic
progress
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 vital to the nations,
governments
 should not lose their interest in making advancement in other sectors
such
 as youth development and
healthcare
Add an article
the healthcare
show examples
 system. I would like to suggest that
governments
 should start campaigns for educating
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 for better awareness of what
governments
 are going through regarding
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
progress
 other departments are making.
Submitted by minthetster on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
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