The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

These days, the development of a country can be identified by the number of discoveries in all aspects of life. Despite some people arguing that
science
must focus on human lives because it can provide for human needs, I believe that the statement will indirectly deteriorate part of the environment. On the one hand, through
science
, people can find a huge opportunity to survive in the future when everything is going down.
Humans
can find solutions using
science
.
For instance
, COVID-19 infected
humans
all over the world in 2019, killed over 100 million people and disturbed the economy of a country.
Consequently
, researchers had to work hard to discover a vaccine to handle it so that the decrease in the human population could be stopped.
Therefore
,
science
is indispensable to human life because
humans
are exposed to death every time and everywhere.
On the other hand
, some researchers do not consider that every object and resource will damage environmental biotic and abiotic. Based on the data, modern countries lose almost 10% of their natural flora and animals daily because they use their habitats to observe new oil for human activities. In the abiotic case, the action results in a chemical substance that can change the soil's function for supporting plant development.
For example
, the Lapindo mud incident happened in Sidoarjo, East Java, Indonesia.
Therefore
, if
science
were to focus on human needs without any intention for environmental aspects, the negative effect would come instantly.
To sum up
,
science
is truly an advanced technology that can support human activities, and there is a statement that all resources must be addressed for human life.
In contrast
, I believe those resources can be used to balance
humans
and the environment for a better future.
Submitted by soniandriawan1992 on

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task achievement
Introduction and conclusion should clearly state your position on the topic, which was not very explicit in the provided introduction and conclusion. Make sure to reiterate your thesis statement in the conclusion for clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay exhibits some logical flow; however, it would benefit from clearer and more cohesive transitions between paragraphs and ideas to guide the reader more smoothly from one point to the next.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific details or examples to strengthen your argument. The examples given need to be directly linked to the main idea they support.
task achievement
Be careful with grammar and vocabulary to ensure clarity. There were instances of awkward phrasing and grammatical errors that could confuse the reader or interrupt the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your argument is balanced by discussing both sides of the issue thoroughly before reaching a conclusion. The counterargument presented should be as clear and as well-developed as the initial argument.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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