IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many parents encourage young people to leave home when the become older. While others thinks that they should stay at home with family. Discouse both views and give your own opinion.

#parents #people #home #become #discouse
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The number of joint families is gradually decreasing across the globe. Some people believe that
this
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 is because parents motivate their
matured
Replace the word
mature
show examples
 children to start a new life in a new house.
Although
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 some other folks opine they should stay with family;
however
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, in my opinion, they have to leave their parents to experience individuality and to learn to manage their
expenses
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, One cannot deny that joint families are happy as they share
expenses
Use synonyms
 and daily chores.
Firstly
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,
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
show examples
 of living reduces as they do
Correct your spelling
not
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no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 need to pay multiple rents and bills, and groceries cost reduces as they buy in bulk from wholesale shops
instead
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 of retail shops. To illustrate, A family of four members with two adult dependents has to pay 3000$ as rent
instead
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 of 9000$ when they are apart.
Besides
Linking Words
expenses
Use synonyms
, due to
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 more number of people, each family member can support each other in daily chores. To enlighten, every member contributes to cooking, washing, gardening and supporting each other when one of the members falls ill.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, guardians should provide freedom to their mature children that will teach individuality and manage their own
expenses
Use synonyms
. To explain
further
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, staying in the same place with elders might impose some restrictions on daily routines as older people impose their rules on grownups which eventually leads to greater conflicts that might completely
make
Correct your spelling
take
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 them apart.
Besides
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 freedom, youth must know how to manage their finance effectively. They might not understand the beauty of account management unless they really manage their own
expenses
Use synonyms
.
Thus
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, to avoid conflicts and allow grownups to learn to manage their
expenses
Use synonyms
 they must stay away from their families.
Finally
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, to recapitulate, Some parents encourage adults to move on to a new life
at
Change preposition
in
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 a new nest;
Although
Linking Words
 some communities oppose it;
nevertheless
Linking Words
, I support
this
Linking Words
 due to the aforementioned reasons
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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