Some people argue that it is the governments responsibility to transport children to school while others believe that parents should do that discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Evidently
Add a comma
Evidently,
show examples
it is true that both the government and
parents
Use synonyms
are responsible for
Use synonyms
transportation
Correct article usage
the transportation
show examples
of
Use synonyms
school going
Add a hyphen
school-going
show examples
students.
However
Linking Words
, I give my opinion in favour of
Correct article usage
the letter
show examples
letter
Change noun form
letter's
show examples
view. I will express my perception in the forthcoming paragraphs. Many countries of the world government
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
take
Change the verb form
taken
show examples
responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
their citizens of all ages as a part of their prime concern. They give
transportation
Use synonyms
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
all
Use synonyms
school going
Add a hyphen
school-going
show examples
children
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many of the guardians are busy with their own
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
, as
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
cannot manage time for their
children
Use synonyms
to pick up
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
schools.
Finally
Linking Words
,
the
Change preposition
during the
show examples
peak
our
Correct your spelling
hour
show examples
of schools,
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
in the morning there
occurd
Correct your spelling
occurred
occurs
a huge traffic jam on
roads
Correct article usage
the roads
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Bangladesh schooling time
start
Correct subject-verb agreement
starts
show examples
at 7:30 in the morning and
that
Change preposition
at that
show examples
time roads become
so
Rephrase
very
show examples
busy.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
it
create
Change the verb form
creates
show examples
a problem for guardians to reach students to
school
Use synonyms
by own management.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
a matter of great hazard for
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
to take the
transportation
Use synonyms
responsibility of all the students of the state. In
adition
Correct your spelling
addition
, pupils feel more comfortable to
go there
Verb problem
their
show examples
educational institute with their
parents
Use synonyms
, because only
parents
Use synonyms
can read the feelings of their of spring not another one.
For example
Linking Words
, recently
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
research
shown
Add the auxiliary verb
has shown
showed
show examples
that 60%
Use synonyms
children
Change preposition
of children
show examples
feel free with their
parents
Use synonyms
when they go to
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
. In conclusion, I believe that both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
statements have merits. On balance,
however
Linking Words
, I feel that it's a Holi duty for
parents
Use synonyms
to take the responsibility of their
children
Use synonyms
to provide
transportation
Use synonyms
during
school
Use synonyms
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
.
Submitted by kalam16170 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay by organizing your ideas more coherently.
task achievement
Ensure that you fully address the given topic and provide a more comprehensive response.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: