IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many people decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it. This, they argue, leads to a more satisfying working life. To what extent do you agree with this view? What other things can people do in order to have a satisfying working life?

#people #career #path #lives #life
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It is often argued that
people
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 who planned early their
life
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 on a
career
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 path and
work
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 towards it can achieve a balanced
job
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 satisfaction than their counterparts who changed their jobs substantially. I strongly agree with
this
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 statement because it provides enhanced
work
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-
life
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 balance with family and a better understanding of the
company
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's moral
values
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 in long run.
Firstly
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, the requirement of
career
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 progression provides the
people
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 with necessary
work
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 satisfaction for proper balancing.
This
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 is because the stressful
job
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 prospects will have a direct impact on
people
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’s family lives ruined due to frequent changes in jobs than with adequate pre-planning of their
life
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 well ahead.
Moreover
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, the pace of working situation demands an additional skill which can be subjective to plan them in the proper period.
For example
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, in Japan school gives necessary personality development training to kids to choose a
career
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 line and working towards resulted in massive
job
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 satisfaction as reported by employees from Microsoft Corporation.
Secondly
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,
people
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 with better planning preferably understand the organizational moral
values
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 in line with their
career
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 chosen as an advantage.
Furthermore
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, it gives them a pleasure to
work
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 for an individual business with potential
values
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 in their decisions and
thus
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 by reaching the
life
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 improvement always.
However
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,
people
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 with more
job
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 replacements result in taking additional time to cope with the
company
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 culture.
For instance
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, in India, those who join as a trainee in a multinational
company
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 with the required training reach the top level within a time of 20 years than their other colleagues. To conclude, early choice of their
career
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 path is likely to have a better advantage on
work
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-
life
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 balance than those who prefer to change their
work
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 locations always.
This
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 is because it gives them proper
life
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 balance with family and completely studies the cultural
values
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 of the
company
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 in the long
last
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 relationship.
Submitted by bon.joseph on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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