Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which cause many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example for your own knowledge or experience.
These days, people particularly younger generations are indicating a growing tendency to edible goods sweated with artificial sugar which is intensively detrimental to human
health
. Although
this
is such
a primary human right to decide what to consume, I intend to contend that it is somehow the responsibility of governments
to discourage people from purchasing harmful products
by deterring strict rules. There are two primary reasons for this
.
First of all, the strongest argument in favour of raising the cost of sugary foods and drinks is that of public health
. Snacks and drinks like Coca-Cola or pastry which are high in sugar are responsible for such
ailments as Diabetes, obesity as well as
high blood pressure and other potentially fatal diseases. Although
eating or drinking such
stuff would provide the consumer with pleasure and enjoyment, the inconvenience and cost of treating consequent effects are significant. Rather than neglecting citizens’ diets, taking this
policy by governments
and authorities would result in nurturing a healthier society.
Secondly
and even more importantly, though, is the fact that implementing this
policy would deliberately shape the younger generation’s future eating habits. Replacing these products
with some natural fruit juice at a lower price which, is subsidised by governments
would be a salient example of this
. Having grown up removing such
products
from their daily diet, people are more likely to continue that lifestyle in their adult lives. Admittedly, continuing this
measure entails offering discounts for healthier commodities with natural glucose.
By the way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that governments
could play a crucial role in citizen’s health
. Given the health
risks associated with this
trend, I believe that taking further
prohibiting measures against consuming other damaging products
which are high in salt or fat would be justified.Submitted by golriiz23 on
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Task Achievement
To respond more completely to the task, ensure your essay directly addresses the question of whether you agree or disagree with making sugary products more expensive. A clearer stance throughout may strengthen your task achievement. Try to integrate your opinion more explicitly in each paragraph.
Task Achievement
Ensure your main points are supported by more specific examples or evidence. While you've discussed broader impacts and solutions, incorporating specific data, studies, or personal anecdotes could enhance your arguments' relevance and persuasiveness.
Coherence & Cohesion
For enhanced coherence, work on smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Using a variety of linking words and phrases can make the progression of your argument more evident to the reader.
Coherence & Cohesion
While your essay includes an introduction and conclusion, further refine these sections to clearly state your thesis and summarize your main points, respectively. This practice will make your position and overview of the argument more accessible to the audience.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite