It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
Life is risky and every day humans have to make decisions that could harm not only their short-term projects but
also
long-term ones. Many people believe that remaining in the comfort zone and doing things step by step without any peril is the best way to be successful, however
, from my perspective, taking risks is vital for achieving more ambitious goals. In this
essay, I will explain my reasons in detail.
To start with, children have been taught to follow every rule that has been imposed by performing standard tasks such
as completing their studies and having a family. However
, sacrifices are necessary to teach us how to be stronger and face difficulties without fear. For example
, 'Rappi', which is a start-up founded in Colombia by Simon Borrero, is the most successful company for doing deliveries in Latin America, nevertheless
, their founder as well as
their teamwork faced endless defeats, exemplified by the bankruptcy of his other three companies.
Additionally
, ambitious people, namely well-known scientists, remarkable actors and actresses, and the most noticeable musicians, etc, have shown unique behaviours that allow them to be highlighted among the others. For example
, Cristiano Ronaldo, one of the most famous soccer players, has improved their techniques with discipline, dedication and taking risks in order to stay outside of his comfort zone. Therefore
, despite his age, he is still playing and, perhaps, will be practising in the long run.
To sum up
, it is clear that
humankind desires to have straightforward opportunities without limitations, nonetheless
, being in danger is crucial to develop our strengths. Thus
, I staunchly consider that situations in which humans have to perform tougher work outweigh those easier tasks.Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a coherent argument throughout, with each paragraph logically flowing into the next. To enhance coherence, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases.
task achievement
Well done on supporting your main points with specific examples, such as the 'Rappi' startup and Cristiano Ronaldo. To further improve, ensure each example is fully explored and its relevance clearly explained to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame your essay. For further improvement, consider adding a more explicit thesis statement in your introduction and a stronger, more directive closing sentence in your conclusion.
logical structure
You have a strong, clear structure that guides the reader through your argument.
supported main points
Excellent use of specific examples ('Rappi' startup, Cristiano Ronaldo) to support your main points.
complete response
You've successfully completed the task by addressing the prompt directly and offering a balanced view on the importance of taking risks.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, making your argument persuasive and engaging.
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