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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.
As illustrated in the pie charts are the details on the
age
Use synonyms
 band of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 in one European and Asian country as recorded in the year 2000 and projections for 2050.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that three
age
Use synonyms
 groups
such
Linking Words
 as 0-14, 15-59 and 60 plus
years
Use synonyms
 were considered. In 2000, 0-14
years
Use synonyms
 was recorded as the
age
Use synonyms
 band with the highest proportion for
Yemen
Use synonyms
, as against being the least for Italy.
However
Linking Words
, in 2050 it is projected that
Yemen
Use synonyms
 and Italy will document
15
Correct article usage
the 15
show examples
-59
years
Use synonyms
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 as the highest.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in the year 2000
Yemen
Use synonyms
 recorded its' lowest populated
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 to be 3.6% for sixty plus
years
Use synonyms
 and highest as
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 0-14
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 at a little above half.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Italy noted the least
age
Use synonyms
 cohort as 0-14 at a little less than a fifth and
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 populous as sixty plus at 61.6%.
Additionally
Linking Words
, as projected for the year 2050, the most populous
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 for
Yemen
Use synonyms
 and Italy will be 15-59
years
Use synonyms
 at 57.3% and 46.2% respectively.
Although
Linking Words
, the smallest
age
Use synonyms
 population for
Yemen
Use synonyms
 is 60+
years
Use synonyms
 at 5.7%, as against 11.5% for 0-14 in Italy

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, years, yemen, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • age distribution
  • population skewed
  • younger age groups
  • significant proportion
  • older population
  • projected
  • demographics
  • societal and economic challenges
  • youthful population
  • growing workforce
  • economic growth
  • aging population
  • demand for healthcare
  • pension systems
  • invest in education
  • job creation
  • demographic dividend
  • social policies
  • sustainable
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