IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some peopre think thatt nowadays children have too much freedom. Do you agree or disagree?

#peopre #children #freedom
The world is changing fast and so are the rules and the norms of society. I agree with the statement that
today
's
children
 enjoy much more independence than
children
 of the past. A number of arguments surround my opinion. The main reason why
children
today
 are enjoying more
freedom
 is that their
parents
 realise that
children
today
 are capable of deciding things on their own.
Today
's
children
 have the power of the
lnternet
Correct your spelling
Internet
 and the
satellite
Fix the agreement mistake
satellites
show examples
 ry in their hands.
Today
's young generation is the most
well informed
Add a hyphen
well-informed
show examples
 generation than ever in the history of mankind. Because of the lT boom,
today
's
children
 grow up quicker than their
parents
 did. They know what their
parents
 and grandparents do not know. So,
parents
 give their
children
 the
freedom
 to make decisions on their own.
ln
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the past,
children
 were not exposed to so much information, and so meekly did what their
parents
 told them to do. Another important reason behind the
freedom
 given to
today
's
children
 is that
parents
 don't have time to monitor their
children
's activities. ln the
fast paced
Add a hyphen
fast-paced
show examples
 world of
today
, both
parents
 are working longer hours to meet the demands of the consumerist society of
today
. They are not working just to fulfil their basic necessities, but
also
 to live a lifestyle of luxury and comfort.
As a consequence
,
children
 are left unattended to enjoy their
freedom
. Earlier, only one parent worked and mothers were there to supervise their
children
. Workaholic culture was
also
 not there and people worked limited hours.
Furthermore
, the change in family structure from joint to nuclear families is responsible for the
freedom
 showered on
todafs
Correct your spelling
today's
children
. Earlier, grandparents were there to keep a watchful eye on their grandchildren, but
today
's
children
 do not have
such
 supervision on them,
as a result
 of which they get a lot of
freedom
.
To sum up
, it can be reiterated that the
freedom
 enjoyed by
today
's
children
 is, by and large, inevitable The onus is on the
parents
 to see to it that
this
 excess
freedom
 does not go against their
children
.
Submitted by venkysai670 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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