In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message ?

Hard work has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
value in our life. In
this
contemporary world, people are attempting to improve their standard of living compared to others .
Moreover
, they are able to do many things , sacrifices and commitments to enhance their quality lifestyle. Wherever in some society , adults are encouraging their offspring to do many tuff tasks which will help them to fulfil their future dreams . Some of them argued the above statement
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
advantages as well as disadvantages. In
this
essay I will discuss these two sides and eventually, I will give my opinion too.
To begin
with, as
a
Change the article
an
show examples
advantage, whenever children have a great opportunity to acquire a high reputation as well as a recognition among
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
for their better tomorrow.
For example
, in
business
Add an article
the business
a business
show examples
field , employers who are motivated by their managers to give more commitment
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
their jobs, are able to acquire high salary increments , promotions and other bonus rewards.
As a result
, youngsters have strived to attend
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
targets with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
great
commitments
Correct the article-noun agreement
commitment
show examples
without any other distractions in their way of achievements.
On the other hand
, as a disadvantage youngsters are affected in a detrimental way
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
mentally and physically by these unhealthy hard work schedules.
For instance
, some school students who
who
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
not talented in science-related subjects
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
were forced to do by their parents as well as unfortunately, they were unable to accomplish their targets
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
full of engagement.
Consequently
, they faced various health issues
such
as depression, lethargy and so and they are unable to
living
Change the form of the verb
live
show examples
in a healthy lifestyle. In conclusion, hard
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
has
a benefits
Correct the article-noun agreement
benefits
a benefit
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
children as well as negative effects too. Even though we want to have
clear
Correct article usage
a clear
show examples
vision and goal for our future with
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
productive time management and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
ensures to engage in our daily tasks in a positive manner. If we motivate to do unnecessary and undesired activities , we will be not able to acquire positive results
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
other's
Fix the agreement mistake
others'
show examples
encouragements
Fix the agreement mistake
encouragement
show examples
.
Submitted by skrodrigo030 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: