Over consuming sugar is unhealthy. Some people think that governments should take responsibility to control it. Others think that individuals should take responsibility for sugar intake. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There are a few people who suggest it is the

authority

Use synonyms

's responsibility to manage the overconsumption of sucrose as they are unwell for our

health

Use synonyms

. It is often argued that

this

Linking Words

is a positive action, whilst others disagree and think that it is each person's responsibility.

This

Linking Words

essay agrees that the

authority

Use synonyms

has some responsibility in regulating

sugar

Use synonyms

intake. The

government

Use synonyms

needs to make a clear regulation regarding the consumption of sweets by creating a policy for the distribution of sweet products.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the regulation may contain information about the maximum amount of

sugar

Use synonyms

in certain products or specify how many sweets can be produced in one batch. It is

therefore

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agreed that the rules will be made as a way the

government

Use synonyms

contributes to controlling the consumption of sweets by the consumers.

For instance

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

rule will restrict those who usually consume an abundant amount of

sugar

Use synonyms

to only half of it because producers made it less in the first place.

However

Linking Words

, many disagree as they believe that it is up to the individuals to control their

sugar

Use synonyms

intake. The

government

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can not be burdened with

such

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a personal

matter

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regarding people's

health

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and humans will eventually learn their lesson if the effect of overconsuming

sugar

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gets to them.

Although

Linking Words

there are some positive degrees to it, the

authority

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should take their part in regulating

this

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matter

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For example

Linking Words

, if there are a lot of patients that end up in the hospital for

this

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matter

Use synonyms

, the authorities will have to handle a lot of

health

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problems,

such

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as obesity and diabetes. In conclusion,

while

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the

government

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takes action to control the overconsumption of

sugar

Use synonyms

, some people still feel that it is a personal

matter

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for each individual.

However

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, as long as the

authority

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can help reduce the

health

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issues in a country, the benefits are clearly positive.

mumtazsyifa18Sun Feb 04 2024

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task achievement

Develop your arguments more fully with relevant examples. Both your discussion of government responsibility and individual responsibility could be enhanced with more specific, illustrative examples.

coherence cohesion

Your essay would benefit from a clearer logical sequence. This can be achieved by creating stronger topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and ensuring that all subsequent sentences relate closely to that topic sentence.

coherence cohesion

Work on transitions between sentences and ideas. This can be done by using a greater variety of linking words and phrases to show the relationships between ideas more clearly.

coherence cohesion

Try to avoid repetition of words and phrases. Use synonyms and alternative expressions to make your writing more varied and engaging.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

308 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

overconsumption
unhealthy
control
responsibility
sugar intake
government intervention
individual actions
benefits
challenges
balance
education
awareness

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Over consuming sugar is unhealthy. Some people think that governments should take responsibility to control it. Others think that individuals should take responsibility for​ sugar intake. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Your opinion

Many children no longer read books and instead spend their time using modern technology. While some people think this is a positive trend, others think it is a problem. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

You work in an international company. You need to take some time off work. Write a letter to your employer. In your letter - explain why you need this time off - give details of when you want this time off - say who can do your work when you are away.

4.An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

the most important aim of science should be to improve people's live. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Details of politicians’ private lives should not be published in newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Over consuming sugar is unhealthy. Some people think that governments should take responsibility to control it. Others think that individuals should take responsibility for sugar intake. Discuss both views and give your opinion.