IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Only people who earn a lot of money are successful. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#people #money #support
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MONEY
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 IS OFTEN CONSIDERED AS THE ULTIMATE MARKER OF
SUCCESS
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. I DO NOT AGREE WITH
THIS
Linking Words
 STATEMENT BECAUSE I THINK EVEN THOUGH
MONEY
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 IS
ONE
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 OF THE DETERMINANTS OF
SUCCESS
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, IT IS NOT WHAT DETERMINES WHETHER A
PERSON
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 IS SUCCESSFUL OR NOT. A
PERSON
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 IS CONSIDERED SUCCESSFUL IF HE CAN SUSTAIN HIMSELF FINANCIALLY, HAS GREAT REPUTE IN THE SOCIETY, HAS A GOOD EMOTIONAL QUOTIENT AND HAS GOOD HEALTH.
ONE
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'S FINANCIALLY STATUS INCREASES WHEN A
PERSON
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 CLIMBS UP THE SOCIAL LADDER AND THE VICE VERSA. WITH
MONEY
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ONE
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 CAN OWN WHATEVER THEY WISH. IT IS OF NO DOUBT TO ANY OF US THAT MATERIALISTIC ASSETS WILL INCREASE A
MAN
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'S NET WORTH. OUR PRESENT SOCIETY PLACES GREAT IMPORTANCE ON CAPITAL AND, NATURALLY, A CHAP WITH GREAT FORTUNE EFFORTLESSLY COMMANDS RESPECT AND ADORATION FROM THE SOCIAL CIRCLE TO WHICH HE BELONGS TO. BUT IF YOU ASK, DOES
THIS
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 DEFINE
SUCCESS
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? I DO NOT THINK SO. A
MAN
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 CAN OWN ALL THE RICHES IN THE WORLD AND CAN STILL FEEL UNFULFILLED AND DISSATISFIED.
SUCCESS
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 COMES WHEN A
PERSON
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 CAN BELIEVE WITH CONVICTION THAT HE HAS ACHIEVED WHAT HE WAS MEANT TO ACHIEVE. TO BE SUCCESSFUL
ONE
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 HAS TO FEEL CONTENT. WHEN YOU ARE A
PERSON
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 OF GREAT QUALITY AND PERSONALITY, THE
PERSON
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 AND NOT THEIR WEALTH EARNS THE RESPECT AND ADMIRATION OF THE SOCIETY. THE BEST EXAMPLE TO PROVE MY POINT WOULD BE TO MENTION PERSONALITIES, THE LIKES OF GANDHI, BUDDHA, AND MOTHER TERESA WHO OWNED HARDLY ANYTHING IN TERMS OF WORLDLY POSSESSIONS LET ALONE
MONEY
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 BUT ARE REMEMBERED WITH GREAT REVERENCE EVEN TODAY. THEY WERE SUCCESSFUL IN ACHIEVING THE MISSION THEY SET THEIR HEART ON TO AND THEY ACHIEVED IT NOT BY THE
MONEY
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 THEY OWNED BUT BY THE HEARTS THEY WERE ABLE TO MOVE. IN CONCLUSION, I WOULD MENTION THAT
MONEY
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 CAN MAKE A
MAN
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 SUCCESSFUL BUT
MONEY
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 IS NOT ALWAYS NECESSARY TO MAKE A
MAN
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 SUCCESSFUL, BECAUSE
SUCCESS
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 IS NOT DEFINED SOLELY BY WHAT YOU POSSESS BUT
ALSO
Linking Words
 BY WHAT YOU ACHIEVE.
Submitted by fidhaf0343 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • subjective
  • fulfillment
  • personal happiness
  • contributions to society
  • volunteering
  • activism
  • personal achievements
  • academic accomplishments
  • mastering a skill
  • indicators of success
  • independent of monetary wealth
  • financial stability
  • monetary wealth
  • emotional well-being
  • societal impact
What to do next:
Look at other essays: