Air travel can only benefit the richest people in the world. Ordinary people can get no advantage with the development of air travel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#air #travel #benefit #people #world #advantage #development

Some

people

believe that only wealthy

people

can

be benefited

Wrong verb form

benefit

show examples

from

air

travel

and there are no advantages for the general public. As far as I am concerned, I totally disagree with

this

view as all

human-being

Correct your spelling

human beings

show examples

can reap the benefit from

air

travel

To begin

with, the development of technology allows more

people

to enjoy

air

travel

. Since the advanced technology lowers the difficulty of inventing the plane, citizens can be encouraged to use more

air

travel

with lower prices.

For example

, only £100 is needed for

people

travel

around

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Aisa

Correct your spelling

Asia

show examples

Therefore

, ordinary

people

can broaden their horizons by learning about different cultures when they are visiting various places.

Moreover

air

travel

gives

people

equal access to education. As in the past, only children from well-off families have the ability and opportunity to

travel

around and

study

abroad.

However

, the invention of

air

travel

provides ordinary

people

with equal chances to

study

in other countries.

For instance

, students who are good at IT can

study

in the USA and sharpen their talents.

Therefore

, the competitive edge of teenagers can be enhanced and a promising future can be provided once they have the opportunity to

study

in a higher institution. In conclusion, it is undeniable that the development of technology allows more

people

to enjoy

air

travel

and

therefore

, it should not be claimed that only the richest

people

can benefit from

air

travel

Moreover

, as

people

have more chances to

travel

around, teenagers can boost their talents and enjoy a promising future by studying in different countries.

Submitted by hhhhelen.poon on Sat Jun 18 2022

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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