IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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There appears to be a lack of concurrence with the way of spending our lives.
While
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 some
people
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 argue that it’s better to do the same activities and ignore the wide range of changes in your routines, others, myself included, believe
life
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 changes always come with beneficial improvements. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss both views in detail. There are reasons why some
people
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 think
change
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 in
life
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 is always beneficial.
Firstly
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, sticking to a monotonous daily schedule may pose many mental problems for the individual. Some psychologists believe
people
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 with dull lifestyles are more likely to suffer depression than others.
Secondly
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,
according to
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 their opinions,
people
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 who experience various situations and are open to
change
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 are more successful.
For instance
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, a person with a dead-end occupation which does not match their interests deprives themselves of other careers, giving them a sense of satisfaction.
On the other hand
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, another group claims that the incorporation of new things into our daily routines would be problematic. They insist that if
people
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 want to stand on the safe side, they must avoid
change
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. In
this
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 regard, it’s more likely that long-term employees gain promotions than workers who alter their occupations in short periods of time.
Furthermore
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, they know a sense of peace in their monotonous
life
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instead
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 of being in stressful circumstances and
consequently
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 prefer to be not a risk-taker. In conclusion, in my view, quality of
life
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 is more valuable than lifespan.
Thus
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,
while
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 routines offer comfort, we can’t continue the steps of success and enjoy our lives without being open to
change
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.

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Introduction Clarity
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the topic and previews the main points of the essay. Your introductory paragraph should capture the reader's interest and clearly state your thesis statement.
Linking Words and Phrases
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively and improve the flow of your essay. This will help in making your arguments clearer and more coherent.
Paragraph Structure
Develop each main point in separate paragraphs with clear topic sentences. Support these with specific examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments. This will enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
Task Achievement
Make sure to directly address all parts of the task question in your response to achieve a higher score in task achievement. Include clear and comprehensive ideas related to the topic, supported by relevant examples.
Specific Examples
Avoid making sweeping generalizations without providing specific examples or evidence. Use concrete details to support your viewpoints and show how they apply to the topic at hand.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • status quo
  • stagnation
  • routine
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • specialization
  • innate
  • personal growth
  • adaptability
  • fast-paced
  • new horizons
  • equilibrium
  • progress
  • dynamic
  • transformation
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