IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Your friend had made a plan for you to see a movie together but you cannot now not join him. You've found another friend who can go instead of you. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: Explain why you cannot go anymore Say who can go instead of you Say why this person is a good person to go with

#friend #plan #movie #ve #person
Dear Sin, I hope you are doing great. I am writing
this
 letter to
ket
Correct your spelling
let
show examples
 you know that I can't go with you to see
movie
Add an article
the movie
a movie
show examples
 but I know another friend of
our
Correct pronoun usage
ours
show examples
 who can join you
for watching
Change preposition
to watch
show examples
movie
Add an article
a movie
the movie
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.
Firstly
, I am extremely sorry because I had to cancel my
movie
 tickets because of my business tour to another city. I know how happy we were when we decided to go for
movie
Add an article
a movie
show examples
 but at that
point
Add a comma
point,
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 I was not sure
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
 the business tour.
Last
 week I had
meeting
Add an article
a meeting
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 with my manager and they told us that we are going to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Chandigarh city for the presentation and you know it is very far from our city. So, our management
have
Change the verb form
has
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 booked the hotel for two days. And
then
 I realize that same day we are going
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
movie
. I am sorry, I don't want to spoil your
our
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
day only because of me.
Before two
Change preposition
Two
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 days
I
Rephrase
ago I
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went to see our mutual friend Gim, I told her about the
movie
 we
are
Wrong verb form
were
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 going to see, she was very happy and she said she
wants
Wrong verb form
wanted
show examples
 to join us you can contact her.
Atleast
Correct your spelling
At least
 now you have one person who can join you .I know I was so excited
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
 the Dangal
movie
 as I
was
Wrong verb form
had been
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waiting for
long
Add an article
a long
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 time to release it. But
unfortunately
Add a comma
unfortunately,
show examples
 the presentation is
verry
Correct your spelling
very
 important so I have no option. I hope you will enjoy your weekend. Yours faithfully, Sim
Submitted by kaursaijbir on

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coherence cohesion
Consider breaking down some longer sentences into shorter ones for better clarity.
task achievement
Re-read to correct minor grammatical errors and typos, such as 'ket' should be 'let' and 'verry' should be 'very'.
task achievement
The letter clearly conveys the message and addresses all prompts.
task achievement
The tone is friendly and appropriate for an informal letter.
coherence cohesion
The letter has a clear introduction and closing, which enhances its coherence.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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