In some countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that it is the responsibility of governments to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #children #people #responsibility #governments

Nowadays, obesity is more common among young people and irrefutably it is far from a welcomed sign. Before taking any actions to alleviate

this

, we need to know that the reasons behind the phenomenon are manifold.

Firstly

, the content on the internet, like Youtube and online games, is increasingly attractive.

Besides

, in a lot of families, both

parents

need to go out to work and

this

consequently

leads to inadequate supervision of children. So, who holds the ultimate responsibility for young adolescents' sedentary lifestyle and obesity problems? Some contend that it must be the

parents

. Teachers in schools basically have no rights (and fair enough, no responsibilities) to monitor what children do after school, neither can the government announce a ban on visiting certain websites by a particular age group at certain hours.

Parents

have to find a way,

such

the

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mother quits her job and the family spends less altogether, to supervise their children if they really prioritize

this

. To some young fellas with better self-discipline, encouragement may actually work better than using an authoritarian approach, and it is undoubtedly

parents

' responsibility how to impart the concept of self-discipline to their offspring.

However

, there are

certainly

Change the adverb

certain

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roles in which the government can step in. Not only can they build more parks and sports facilities, so as to make it convenient for young people to assess, but they can

also

lift the frequencies of police patrol. After all, the crime situation is an important apprehension for a lot of

parents

, especially in countries with a lot of knife crimes like the UK. To sum up, the government can contribute by means of building community facilities and combating crimes, but the hope of any meaningful amelioration of the problem lies in how big the sacrifices

parents

are willing to make, in terms of time, money and patience, in their process of raising their kids.

Submitted by ABC_XYZ on Sat Jun 18 2022

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

314 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

epidemic
obesity
regulate
sedentary lifestyle
nutritional education
caloric intake
lifestyle diseases
physical inactivity
public health campaigns
regulatory measures
junk food
health initiatives
fiscal policies
metabolic disorders
parental guidance

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In some countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that it is the responsibility of governments to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries، owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

The illustration below depicts the water cycle, which is the ongoing circulation of water on, above, and below the Earth's surface.

The best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by providing at least six years of free education for each child, so that all children can read, write and use numbers.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the future ,we will have more and more leisure time as machines replace many of the tasks we do at home and at work.Discuss the challenges and benefits this will bring