Some people think the main purpose of school is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather than to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no doubt that education plays an imperative role in shaping pupils’ manners as good persons and developing their competencies for their careers,
instead
Linking Words
of offering benefits for each
pupils’
Change noun form
pupil’s
show examples
happiness. In my opinion, I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
statement.
This
Linking Words
essay will provide what I believe.
Although
Linking Words
schooling is equal to the certificate, it is not necessarily related to how successful their lives will be. Some successful celebrities did not graduate from the traditional education system. Take Steve Jobs as a sample. He had the biggest business model, Apple, because he knew how to utilize his knowledge as well as his creativity at the optimal moment.
Also
Linking Words
, he was renewed because of his persistence in learning habits, reading, and self-regulation, which he learned at school rather than his degree.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
benefit from schools not only by being loyal citizens and qualified staff in our society but
also
Linking Words
in their personal successful life experiences later.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
should adapt to living in
this
Linking Words
society with their peers at school,
such
Linking Words
as how to survive in daily life and how to socialize with classmates.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, they can be self-educated at home rather than schooling. In my country, there are increasing numbers of course providers which teach
students
Use synonyms
about survival,
such
Linking Words
as cooking in the wild, doing domestic duty, and training the high communication skills. Learning cookery and domestic cleaning can allow pupils to grow up quickly and take after themselves without others’ assistance.
Also
Linking Words
, the well-established communication skills can offer positive effects on learners’ lives no matter at work or in their daily lives. Again, education providers offer merits not only on
students
Use synonyms
’ character and career but on their happiness. In conclusion, school
students
Use synonyms
do not only learn about being good citizens and being successful professional persons, but
also
Linking Words
educators should look after setting up their personal happiness simultaneously.
Submitted by Vic. on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial
  • shaping
  • developing
  • unique talents
  • potential
  • well-rounded
  • academic
  • social
  • emotional development
  • personal growth
  • contribute positively
  • self-expression
  • creativity
  • individuality
  • happier and more fulfilled
  • strike a balance
  • preparing students for the workforce
  • nurturing
  • individual needs
  • pursue passions and interests
  • thrive
  • future professionals
  • community institutions
  • shape community values
  • foster civic engagement
What to do next:
Look at other essays: