IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that goverment is wasting money on arts and thag money could better spent else where to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #goverment #money #arts #thag
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The way how the
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Governments
Government
Goverments
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Governments
 spend
money
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have
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has
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 been an issue for most of the debates. Some people believe that
the
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apply
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money
Add a hyphen
money-wasting
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wasting
Wrong verb form
wasted
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 on
arts
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 is not
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necessary
neccessary
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necessary
. Others believe that other than
arts
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,
thag
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that
the
though
money
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 could better
spent
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be spent
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else where
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elsewhere
show examples
. I disagree with the
second
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 statement.
Art
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 is always there since the
first
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 human has
exist
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existed
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. It has started with a tiny scratch on the cave wall and continues with visual
art
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 on the computer's screen. It is obvious that without
art
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, we can not
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develop
developed
develope
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develop
 well enough in any
fields
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field
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.
Art
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 improves our
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imagination
immagination
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imagination
 so we become more creative. Creativity is the golden key
of
Change preposition
to
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 improvement in any field.
Art
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also
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 provides us
a
Add the preposition
with a
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better perspective and understanding. If we see
the
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apply
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things from
different
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a different
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perspective
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perspectives
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, there will be
diversity
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a diversity
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 of different opinions.
This
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 diversity will likely
to
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apply
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end up with positive results which can be beneficial for all of us.
improvment
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improvement
 in science will be the
outcomes
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outcome
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 of those imagination and creativity and understanding of different
perspective
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perspectives
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. As an example, treatments in medicine or transportation technology will be improved by these outcomes. We may see faster
train
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training
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 or artificial organs in the future.
However
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, there must be other
services
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such
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 as
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health
healt
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health
services
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,
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security
secirity
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security
services
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 and education which are run by
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Correct your spelling
governments
government
goverments
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governments
. These
services
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 are the basic fundamental of life. In
this
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 case,
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Correct your spelling
governments
government
goverments
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governments
 should spend
money
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 to provide and
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increase
increas
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increase
 these
sort
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sorts
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 of
services
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 without any hesitation. In conclusion, as long as
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Correct your spelling
governments
government
goverments
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governments
 find the right balance between
arts
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 and
basic
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the basic
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 needs of
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citizens
citicens
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citizens
whereas
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while
show examples
 spending
money
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 on them, everything will be
soted
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sorted
 out well enough for everyone. I believe that
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Correct your spelling
governments
government
goverments
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governments
never take
step
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a step
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 back on spending
money
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 on
arts
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. It is just because, development in
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art
Add an article
the art
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 would provide us
beter
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better
 future for ourselves as well as
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next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 generations.
Submitted by onayozge00 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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