IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people says that adverting is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people thinks that advertising is so common that we no longer to pay attention to it. Discuss both sides of view and give your own opinion.

#people #attention
Making advertisements are a method for companies to propagandize their own products.
However
, whether advertising is still effective at present becomes a heated debate. For my part,
although
 there are supporters arguing that commercials are not as appealing to folk as before, I tend to believe that advertising plays an important role in markets. On the one hand, I think ads can have a huge influence on people's choices. People's willingness of purchasing has a vital connection with the recommendations they received. In
this
 sense, when crowds are referred to items that meet their personal requirements, they may have difficulty controlling their cravings.
For example
, I am a computer science student and I have to type codes, when I saw an advertisement on Amazon that there was a keyboard which can improve my typing speed, I could not control my eagerness. As a consequence, the probability of buying is increased by the influence of the advertisements. As
such
, if companies can devise a stronger recommend system, more profits will be gained from it.
On the other hand
, it can be argued that advertising is common in our life,
as a result
, we tend to ignore it.
However
,
such
 an idea is short-sighted and fails to consider the mechanism of advertising. Some persons may feel bored and upset about them.
Nevertheless
, companies
also
 realize
this
 phenomenon.
Moreover
, the strategy of the firms is to post as many commercials as they can to draw people's attention. Due to the enormous information which is provided to large groups of customers, they will still attract attention by improving the total quantity of the recommendations. To conclude, despite some population reckon the advertisements are becoming boring, I prone to support that they are important in business fields.
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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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