You have enough money to purchase either a house or a business. Which would you choose to buy? Give specific reasons to explain your choice.

#money #purchase #house #business #choice

Whether it is a

house

business

money

plays a significant role in both of them. So, having

such

an opportunity is really a nice thing to have. In my opinion, if I have enough

money

to use for any of the above-mentioned options, I will buy my dream

house

. Having my own

house

is my long-awaited dream, which I want to fulfil. I would go for

this

because of two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. At an initial point, I would like to say that I am from a

business

family, so I already have a very good setup of the

business

Although

, I live in a good

house

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

purchasing a

house

from

Change preposition

with

show examples

my own earned

money

is something, which will give me more satisfaction. I will feel glad to do

this

and my confidence would

also

boost

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since it will be an achievement for me.

for instance

, when I was in school, my father just started his

business

. Seeing him working so hard to build a

business

empire

also

motivated me a lot and inspired me to do something in my own life. So, when I was in college, I decided to buy my own

house

in the future. Adding to the above, when I have my own

house

, I will have an opportunity to decorate it in my own style. I have

lot

Change the article

a lot

show examples

of interest in interior design, which was

also

a major subject during my college studies. So, with a good educational background in interior design, I can easily decorate my

house

, with many things to do in it.

Such

as selecting the colours for the walls, arrangement of the windows, design on the floor, decoration of the ceiling, the look of the kitchen, sofa style, etc. In conclusion. I believe that spending

money

on having my own

house

is the best thing I can do me.

this

will give me satisfaction and will motivate me to accomplish more things in life.

Submitted by SV on Sun Jun 19 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

332 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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You have enough money to purchase either a house or a business. Which would you choose to buy? Give specific reasons to explain your choice.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

It is common aspiration among many young peopleto run their own business, rather than work for an employer. Do you think the advantages of working for yourself outweigh the drawbacks?

Some languages are increasingly spoken in different countries, while the usage of others is rapidly declining. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Fossil fuel almost finish from this world, so many countries try to find alternative resources. Can you describe the advantages and disadvantages of this energy?