IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were bron. What might be reason for this.What are the advantages and disadvantages

#people #lives #bron #reason
As
consequence
Add an article
a consequence
show examples
 of globalization people are
Correct your spelling
motivated
mortivated
Correct your spelling
motivated
 to
residing
Wrong verb form
reside
show examples
 in
varies
Replace the word
various
show examples
 places in the world. At
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
some
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
 significant number of community occupy in their
home
town
 engaging various activities in some premises.
This
 essay
discuss
Change the verb form
discusses
show examples
 both pros and
Correct your spelling
cons
show examples
corns
Correct your spelling
cons
show examples
 of living in their native place.
Firstly
, while living in
home
town
 an individual gain various benefits over known persons. Avy
one
 has the plethora of friends in own native place and being able to receive their
assistence
Correct your spelling
assistance
when ever
Correct your spelling
whenever
show examples
 in
troublesom
Correct your spelling
troublesome
 situalliuer.In my own experience , our neighbours gave their fullest support by giving sussbidu and all
medicat
Correct your spelling
medical
 aids,
one
 I became corona infected .
Secondly
Add a comma
,Secondly
show examples
 when
Correct your spelling
someone
show examples
some
Correct your spelling
someone
show examples
one
is get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
 used to
particular
Add an article
a particular
the particular
show examples
 environment , as in
home
town
, feel more comfortable in every aspect of life.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 people residing in
tropical
Add an article
the tropical
a tropical
show examples
 zone, find
more
Correct pronoun usage
it more
show examples
 difficult to live in
eith
Correct your spelling
with
 close to
north
Add an article
the north
show examples
 pole or south pole. Living in some nature , an individual
feel
Change the verb form
feels
show examples
 more convenient and
being
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 able to write more efficiently. On contrarily living in native place, urge a person to think in
Add an article
a narrow
show examples
narrow minded
Add a hyphen
narrow-minded
show examples
 way and lead convention d life without individual progress.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 when I was in my own village, I don’t get
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
 job
oppotunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 . After going to
Add an article
an
the
show examples
urban
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
, I received diversified jobs with different
catergory
Correct your spelling
category
 of remuneration .
Correct your spelling
Moreover
show examples
More over
Correct your spelling
Moreover
show examples
,it
discorrage
Correct your spelling
discourage
discouraged
discourages
 to expand technologies and new knowledge if all lives in
thern
Correct your spelling
there
home
town
 ,in Sri Lanka, It has become mandatory for government teachers to render their service in
rural
Add an article
a rural
show examples
 school for at least five years as
no body
Correct your spelling
nobody
show examples
 likes to occupy in superb area. In my point of view depending on
situation
Correct article usage
the situation
show examples
 involves,
one
 should decide when to live, irrespective of whether it
id
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 his
home
town
 or not.
Submitted by Yasangima Suhashinee Bandara on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: