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Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that the main purpose of school is to turn children as good citizens and workers, rather to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #purpose #school #children #citizens #workers #benefit #individuals
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Nowadays, more and more people argue that students ought to be qualified residents of the society and employees for their careers as one of the significant aims of school education. While others believe that it is more important for individuals to witness their direct interests. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, l am going to explain why l agree with the latter view.
To begin
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 with, at the heart of the former matter is that since the development of many schools reaps benefits from social investment or government budgets, especially for public schools, giving back to society should be merited for students to some extent.
For instance
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, Bill Gates, one of the most successful businessmen in the world, sponsored some freshmen at Harvard University in order to acquire the great stuff for Microsoft after they graduate.
However
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, in my opinion, there is a limited impact to be recorded for
such
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 a phenomenon.
In other words
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, if these students whose values are not built completely must focus on a general goal, they may lose their motivation and desire to study hard in the background of involution in some developing countries.
Therefore
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, l firmly trust that people are supposed to set the individual profits as a priority, which will not only have a positive effect on themselves but
also
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 on societies. On the one hand, according to research, workers in private firms seem to be more hardworking and have a higher salary than those in government sectors based on the different finical stimulation in both systems.
On the other hand
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, from the macro perspective, office clerks who can find their talents during the process of being rewarded tend to more contribute to the overall nation.
For example
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, Einstein was inspired and encouraged from his
first
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 bucket of gold after the bulb had been popular in the world. In conclusion, we have enough reasons to insist on the target that benefits individuals
firstly
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 from schools on the grounds that graduates will create a bigger indirect value to the earth by benefiting themselves.
Submitted by testtaker1 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial
  • shaping
  • developing
  • unique talents
  • potential
  • well-rounded
  • academic
  • social
  • emotional development
  • personal growth
  • contribute positively
  • self-expression
  • creativity
  • individuality
  • happier and more fulfilled
  • strike a balance
  • preparing students for the workforce
  • nurturing
  • individual needs
  • pursue passions and interests
  • thrive
  • future professionals
  • community institutions
  • shape community values
  • foster civic engagement
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